Wind Therapy - A.J. Downey Page 0,49
wasn’t any putting it back in.
I tipped her chin with gentle fingers and she met my gaze. The raw pain in her gaze turned my resolve to steel.
“Talk to me,” I whispered, and I let the note of pleading in my voice ring clear. I was absolutely fucking desperate to make this better somehow.
“What does it matter?” she uttered dispassionately, and I raised my chin slightly, looking down at her ominously.
“It matters,” I said. “Now talk to me…” I wasn’t asking anymore, and she gasped at the look on my face. Fear flitted just behind her eyes and I couldn’t say I was entirely sorry about it. I needed the whole story before I could make a play or set anything in motion.
“Who, what, when, where, why, and how,” I said. “One at a time. Rack ‘em up and knock ‘em down, babe.”
She took in a shuddering breath and searched my face and with a slight strangled noise I couldn’t quite identify, started talking.
“My uncle,” she said and closed her eyes. It was as if a visible burden had been set down, her face smoothing, losing some of the tightness around the edges. I stayed silent, knowing that it would wear on her. Knowing the need to fill it would overpower her. I wasn’t wrong.
“I was twelve, the first time that it happened. He –” She swallowed hard, tears leaking out from beneath her closed eyelids. “He came into my room and put his hand over my mouth, climbed on top of me and–” Her shoulders rounded, and she hunched in on herself.
“I get the picture,” I said softly. If I could spare her, I would, she’d been through enough by this point… and it’s all your fuckin’ fault for not pressing the issue sooner, I silently berated myself. I put a hand on her shoulder and gripped it firmly to support her, whispering, “Take your time.”
She took several deep breaths and said, “I told Abuela.”
“What did she do?” I prompted when she remained in miserable silence.
“She lost her shit. Called me a liar and beat me with a belt.”
“Fuck.”
“I tried telling a teacher, school counselors, none of it helped. CPS was called and Abuela, she always knew what to say. She convinced them I was a liar and a problem child. No one would listen to me, so I finally stopped trying… he moved when I was sixteen but, um, damage done I guess.” She shrugged helplessly and I stayed silent.
She’d been betrayed by literally everyone who was supposed to protect her. My rage was churning in my gut, but she didn’t need my rage. Not yet. Right now, she needed my empathy.
“I don’t know why,” she said.
“The why of it isn’t on you, Marisol,” I told her and swallowed hard myself. “The why of it is because he’s a sick fuck.”
She wouldn’t look at me, fixing her eyes on an empty patch of carpet instead.
“What are you going to do?” she asked finally, her voice barely audible.
“Never you mind that, that’s for me to figure out – later. Right now, I’m going to find you something to wear and tonight, I’m going to give you some room to breathe.”
“You’re leaving?” she asked and the note of alarm in her voice gave me pause.
“Not if you don’t want,” I said.
“What about our deal?” she asked sharply.
“Deal’s changed, baby girl, and I’m not upset or sorry about it.”
“But, Mateo!”
“Hush,” I ordered. “Deal’s changed, it’s not off. You’ll get out and I’ll help you get your brother.”
“Really?” She sounded so hopeful, and that note of hope in her voice was so heartbreakingly tenuous.
“Really.”
“So… so, you believe me?” she whispered, and again she wouldn’t look at me. She was hanging on by a thread, had been so strong, all by herself, for so long… shit.
“There’s no faking that kind of reaction, girl. Of course, I believe you. I believe you and I am so fucking sorry…”
“Don’t be,” she said gently but sharply. “You didn’t know.”
“I should have guessed.”
She snorted indelicately and looked at me then.
“Sorry your crystal ball was out of order,” she said sarcastically, and I felt my lips twitch, barely resisting a smile. It was remarkable, watching her walls go back up in real time.
“Things are going to be different from here on out,” I promised her and her expression – God, I’ve never seen anyone look so tired, so weary.
“Things will never change, Maverick,” she said quietly. “I learned that a long time ago.”
I pulled her against me, tucking