been this sleep-deprived was when Katie was struck by a forty-eight hour flu that kept them both contained to the bathroom for easy access to the toilet and cool baths.
He would cheerfully go back to sitting on a hard tile floor waiting for his daughter’s next dry heave if it meant he wouldn’t have to deal with the shit on his plate right now.
Carol Ann’s phone call had woken him up a mere hour after he’d fallen asleep beside Katie. He’d customized her ring tone and set it up to override his phone’s Do Not Disturb feature back when his life revolved around legal filings and court appearances. His attorney suggested it, advising the importance of having timely conversations rather than exchanging voicemails to keep the custody process moving forward. It hadn’t occurred to him to switch the setting back once the legalities were settled.
He had answered the call purely out of instinct just to stop the noise. He wasn’t even sure what greeting he’d given when he brought the phone to his ear.
“Will, it’s Carol Ann,” she had said.
The grogginess had cleared in a snap, instantly replaced by adrenaline. Seeing Katie still asleep beside him, he had eased off the bed and hurried from the room, pulling the door closed behind him.
“Hi,” he said to buy his brain time to kick into gear.
He paused outside the bedroom to decide where to take the call. He didn’t want Katie to wake up and somehow overhear anything she shouldn’t. After a moment’s thought, he headed out to the family room. He’d be able to see her emerge from the bedroom from there.
Ryan glanced over at him from his post at the kitchen table. Will ignored him and sat on the sofa facing the main hallway.
“I know this is probably comin’ outta the blue,” she was saying in his ear.
That was an understatement. He hadn’t heard from her in more than eight months. He’d never expected to hear from her again.
“So much has happened,” she said. “I really need to see you and Katherine, and didn’t want to just show up out of the blue.”
His posture went rigid. “You can’t see Katie, Carol Ann.”
Either the words or his cold tone had made her pause. “No, of course. I’m gettin’ way ahead of myself. And I forgot that you call her Katie. I’m so sorry. Let me start this again.”
“I think it’s best that you go through my attorney,” he interrupted.
He heard the low murmur of Ryan’s voice in the background as she said, “I’m not tryin’ to step on your toes, Will. I wouldn’t dream of comin’ between you and Kath—Katie. What I’m tryin’ to do is make amends.”
He frowned. “Amends for what?”
“As part of my treatment.”
“Like in AA?”
“Lordy, no. I’m not an alcoholic. I was diagnosed with severe depression.”
“Depression?” he repeated, his overtaxed brain struggling to keep up with the conversation.
“Yeah. The doc thinks it started as postpartum and got worse when I didn’t see anyone about it. I’ve been on medication and in therapy for a while now.”
That had taken the edge off his gathering temper. “Oh.”
“The thing is, I’ve hit a point in my treatment where my therapist feels I won’t make progress without earnin’ forgiveness for my actions while I was sufferin’, especially with Katie. You know, leavin’ her with you like that.”
He had felt a headache building behind his eyes. “You’re not seeing Katie,” he repeated.
“That’s fine,” she hastily replied. “I mean it. I spoke outta turn before.” Her voice got softer. “But, Will, I feel this is important. Not just for me, but for Katie. Despite my mistakes, I’m still her mama. There will come a time where she wants to talk to me, even if it’s to yell and scream because of those mistakes. I’d like to start easin’ the way for that by mendin’ things between you and me. I know it’s a lot to ask. I’m puttin’ all my pride aside here. Would you even consider meetin’ with me for just a short while to talk about this face to face?”
The arguments he’d been building in his head while she talked flew out of his mind. “You’re here in Atlanta?”
“I’m in the area.” She let out a long breath. “I admit I considered showin’ up somewhere you’d be, hoping it’d be easier to get you to agree to talk to me about this. I’m sure you want to tell me no. If things were reversed, I’d’ve probably hung up the phone already. Thanks