Wildest Dreams - By Rosanne Bittner Page 0,58

Maybe she was to blame, for not realizing what was going on outside last night... or maybe for a deeper reason. Maybe this was some kind of punishment from God. Maybe she was somehow responsible for her rape after all, and she was supposed to suffer for it.

She touched her swollen abdomen. Somehow, through finding Zeb and Horace and Jim's bodies, through stumbling over poor Pup, through struggling to hitch a team of mules to the wagon and helping Luke into it, then through the long, jolting, almost day-long ride into town, she had hung on to the new life in her womb. At the moment she didn't really want to live at all, but poor little terrified Katie needed her mother, as did the new baby growing inside her. The one called Half Nose well knew how to get his revenge. Killing all of them would have been the easy way. They would not really have suffered at all. He probably thought Nathan was Luke's son by blood, figured taking the boy was the best way of punishing Luke and her for what had happened to his own son. For all his savagery, he was a wise man, and he was probably hurting as much inside as she was right now.

What was the sense in all this bloodletting? If Half Nose and his people had come to her house hungry, she would have fed them. If they had needed blankets, she would have given them some. Luke would probably even have traded them some horses for some buffalo robes—anything to keep the peace. Instead, the Indians had tried to steal Luke's precious horses, the only thing he had to make money on last summer. That led to killing Half Nose's son, and now all this. It could all so easily have been avoided.

Nathan! She could hear his screams. The terror in his eyes as Half Nose carried him off would haunt her the rest of her life. How was she ever supposed to sleep again? Eat again? If Luke and the others could not find her son...

She was hardly aware of arriving at Will's, or of Will lifting her down from the wagon and carrying her inside the house and laying her on a bed. She said nothing, for if she opened her mouth, she would start screaming and never stop. Someone began removing her wet clothes then, and she heard Henny talking to her, but the words did not make any sense to her. Someone laid a sobbing Katie on the bed beside her. She could hear men talking in another room, loud voices, heard Luke cussing, groaning. Luke... He couldn't go riding off with a search party in that cold rain. It would kill him.

Anguish was evident in Luke's voice as he explained what had happened. Will exclaimed when he heard about Luke's grizzly attack, and she remembered that Will and Henny hadn't even known about that yet. Immediately talk turned to gathering men together to go out and find Nathan. Then someone mentioned sending men out to bury Zeb, Horace, and Jim. Good. That was good. She hoped they would bury Pup, too, so the wolves could not get to him. Wolves. Howling wolves. Constant wind. Fierce grizzlies. Screaming, bloodthirsty Indians. This was a cruel land in which Luke Fontaine had chosen to settle. She could bear all the hardships, anything the land and the elements wanted to throw at her. But she could not bear having her son taken from her. She could see his sweet smile, see the ever-present stuffed horse in his arms. His smile faded, and he began shrieking. "Mommy! Mommy!"

She should be with him. The horror of it made her gasp, and she looked up at Henny. "I... I didn't finish my letter," she told the woman, who looked at her with deep concern in her eyes.

"What letter, dear?"

"I was... writing a letter... to my parents in Denver. I was going to tell them how well things were going. I had my garden planted... another grandchild on the way... Luke's pregnant mares. Everything was so good. The letter and ink... are still sitting on my desk... at home. Jim made the desk for me. You really... should come and visit, Henny... see the desk." What was she jabbering about? Nothing but nonsense came out of her mouth. Nathan! No! She couldn't think about that. "What should I say, Henny... in the letter?"

Henny leaned over her, stroking some of her damp hair