Wild Embrace (Wilder Irish #11) - Mari Carr Page 0,61

long time. Seemed disrespectful to just chop them off.”

Ryder glanced at Darcy, confused. “Moneymakers?”

“Bubbles used to be a hooker in Vegas,” Mom quickly explained. “And I’m not going to lie, it was her tits that first drew me to her. They’re magnificent.”

Darcy was fairly certain that was the exact moment Ryder regretted his decision to come to the party, but she was sure as hell glad he had, because she would remember—and laugh her ass off over—the dazed expression on his face for the rest of her life.

“Um,” he said, but it was too late.

Mom and Bubbles were on a roll, both aware they had Ryder on the hook. Once they landed a fish, the Bubbles and Riley show was unstoppable. Darcy leaned forward, against the counter, to get a better view of Ryder’s face.

“Offered Riley and Aaron a threesome for free, but you know Darcy’s dad.” Bubbles shook her head as if the decades-old memory was still a huge disappointment to her.

“It’s that Boy Scout mentality of his,” Mom said. “Never did manage to break him of that, did we, Bubbles? Though it wasn’t for lack of trying.”

Ryder looked at Darcy as if he expected her to be scandalized by the fact her godmother was a former hooker who tried to hook up with her parents.

“I’ve heard this story a million times,” Darcy explained to him.

Ryder opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He needed to find his voice soon because, really, all his astonished silence was doing was giving Bubbles and Mom more time to play with him. They were like two cats toying with a mouse.

“Tell him about your doctor’s appointment, Bubbles,” Mom urged.

“Mom, I’m sure Ryder doesn’t—”

Bubbles started as if Darcy hadn’t said a word. “Well, I went to my regular doctor for a checkup. Make sure the hoo-ha and everything else was functioning okay. Hadn’t gone in a couple years.”

“Five years,” Mom added. And she’d nagged Bubbles about that every single day of four of those.

Bubbles ignored the nag this time too. “Anyway, I’m sitting on the exam table, naked as the day I was born, with that paper gown over me.”

“Paper gown?” Ryder asked.

“I’ll explain later,” Darcy murmured.

“And my doctor came in and asked if I had any concerns. I mentioned how I was thinking about a reduction. You know how doctors are.”

Ryder shook his head.

Mom jumped in to respond. Primarily because she couldn’t stand not being the storyteller. “She didn’t give Bubbles a straight answer. Fifty percent one way, fifty percent the other. Gave her pros and cons and told her the decision was up to her. Hate when they don’t just give you a straight answer. Anyway—”

Bubbles waved at Mom to hush. “Dammit, Riley. It’s my story. Anyway…that conversation ends and the doctor tells me to lay down on the exam table for the titty squeeze.”

Ryder looked at Darcy again.

“Breast exam,” she amended.

“Jesus Christ,” Ryder whispered as Darcy fought overtime not to laugh.

“So the doctor lifts the paper gown,” Riley said.

“And there’s this honest-to-God gasp,” Bubbles said, grinning. “Don’t you know that doctor looked me dead in the eye and said ‘I one hundred percent support your decision to get the reduction.’”

“One hundred percent,” Mom said gleefully.

“I looked at my doctor and said, ‘You couldn’t see what I had underneath that paper gown, could you?’” Bubbles continued.

“And the doctor said no,” Mom added with a laugh, even though she hadn’t even been in the damn exam room. “Of course, she would have known if Bubbles bothered to go see her regularly.”

Bubbles was laughing as well. “So then the doctor says, ‘God has been very generous with you.’”

“And Bubbles said, ‘No, he hasn’t,’” Mom finished.

Bubbles slapped Mom on the shoulder as they reached the punchline. “And then the doctor said, ‘Well, there’s an argument to be made for that as well.’”

Mom and Bubbles were laughing loudly at this point, and Ryder joined them, though Darcy wasn’t sure if it was the amusing story or their reaction or maybe just horror over his current situation that drove it.

“What’s going on in here?” Pop Pop said, walking in. “I hear laughing.”

“Mom and Bubbles are telling Ryder the doctor story,” Darcy said.

Pop Pop grinned, even as he shook his head. “Sorry to have missed it. That’s a good one. Glad to see you here, Ryder,” he added, shaking Ryder’s hand. “We missed you and Clint at Thanksgiving. Darcy here says you took her to a Ravens game last week. Box seats.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. Her