Wild Embrace (Wilder Irish #11) - Mari Carr Page 0,48

Because he had it all wrong. “Ryder…did you love Denise?”

“Fuck, Darcy,” he muttered.

“It’s a simple question. Yes or no?”

Ryder ran his hand through his hair and closed his eyes, as if by doing so, he could block out her and her question. Then, slowly, he opened them and locked gazes with her. “What is this power you have?” he asked, though she was pretty sure he was directing those words at himself. “What did you call it? A curse?”

She nodded, though she’d never explained her reason for calling it that to him. Because the truth was, it wasn’t a curse like Ryder was probably thinking. Her cousin, Colm, declared the entire Collins family suffered from a curse where they all fell in love, fast and hard and forever. And none of them were exempt from it.

When they met their true loves, that was it. Game over.

She’d been struck by the curse when she was just twenty.

“You said it was a spell,” she said, trying to distract him from the curse idea. There was no way in hell Ryder was ready to hear those three little words from her. They were written on her heart, but they would have to remain her secret for now.

“I don’t seem to be capable of shielding a goddamn thing from you. You ask a question and suddenly I’m baring my soul.”

She smiled, though her pleased response clearly tweaked his temper, and his eyes narrowed.

“And yet you still haven’t answered my question. Did you love Denise?”

“Yeah. I did. But I couldn’t make her happy. And I can’t make you happy, either.”

“But you do,” she insisted.

He refused to acknowledge that. “Stick around a little while and I’ll show you how wrong you are.”

She frowned. “I’m not wrong.”

“I think part of the reason I’m no longer in that dark place I told you about is because I stopped blaming Denise for all our misery. I told myself I was angry and hurt because she betrayed me, broke my heart. I consoled myself by calling her a faithless bitch. She left me for that other guy. But we were both to blame for our failed marriage. I was cold and distant, and I thought I could fix everything simply by making more money. Fruit didn’t fall far from the tree,” he said, grimacing.

“Don’t you think if you married again, married someone you—” She stopped herself just short of saying loved, fairly certain that word would freak him out. “Cared for, that all those descriptions of your first marriage would be different because now you know better?”

He shook his head.

“No?” she asked.

“I don’t know, but I have no intention of putting that theory to the test. I can’t…I never want to hurt you, Darcy.”

She was touched by his admission, even though the idea of him trying to walk away killed her. Everything that happened between them Saturday night belied his words, even though he refused to see that.

“Can I ask you another question?”

He blew out a hard breath, and she could tell he wanted to reject her request. He’d just admitted he was incapable of hiding things from her. But that wasn’t completely true. Because there was something she still didn’t understand.

“What is it?”

“Why haven’t you been with a woman since Denise died? I can’t believe there haven’t been opportunities. And even if you aren’t looking for a relationship, I’m sure there have been other women you’ve been interested in sexually.”

He studied her face for a long, silent minute, and she wondered if this time she’d pushed too far.

Especially when Ryder walked away from her to the small seating area set up in the corner. Dropping down onto the leather couch, he patted the cushion next to him. Even as she crossed the room toward him, she could almost see his internal debate, could tell he was trying to decide if he was really going to answer. She sat next to him.

“After Denise died,” he swallowed heavily, “I found it…difficult to…” He ran his hand through his hair. “I was impotent. I couldn’t get an erection.”

Darcy didn’t respond immediately, shocked and confused. “But…”

“But that problem ended that night in the elevator.”

“So…”

“So you can imagine my surprise. You seem to have a rather powerful effect on me.”

“Just me?” she asked, still astonished by his confession.

He nodded. “Just you.”

“I’m glad you told me. But doesn’t that sort of prove we shouldn’t stop what’s happening between us.”

“Darcy, please try to understand. It’s not a road I’m willing to travel again. I’m not…good at