Wild Embrace (Wilder Irish #11) - Mari Carr Page 0,16
to a garage. A mechanic called a week or so after the accident. Said he’d take care of disposing of the vehicle, but that someone would need to come retrieve the luggage they’d found in the trunk.”
“Ryder,” Darcy whispered, a tear rolling along her cheek.
He felt the slightest trembling in her hand, so he tightened his grip, grateful to have something to hold on to and touched by her compassion.
“I hired a private investigator a few months after her death to find out who the other man was. I kept telling myself I didn’t give a shit, but I couldn’t let it go, couldn’t stop thinking…”
“Did you find out?”
Ryder nodded. “I did. I thought as soon as I had the name, I’d confront the guy, but…once I knew, I realized I didn’t care anymore. It didn’t—it wouldn’t—change anything. I’ve never mentioned it to him, but I can tell from the way he looks at me…he knows that I know.”
“You see the guy?”
“Unfortunately, due to certain circumstances, we run into each other on occasion.”
“Ryder. I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.”
He lifted one shoulder. There really wasn’t anything to say. It was the one reason he’d always sworn never to talk about it. There was nothing anyone could do or say to take away the anger or the hurt.
“It’s okay,” he said, both of them knowing those words were a lie.
That was why he wasn’t getting married again. He’d long ago accepted that he simply didn’t have the strength to risk his heart or his pride again.
As the saying went, been there, done that, burned the T-shirt.
They sat there, holding hands, staring at the opposite wall of the elevator, neither of them speaking for several minutes. Through his peripheral vision, he caught sight of her trying to covertly wipe her eyes a couple of times.
He appreciated her tears, even as he marveled he’d never managed to shed a single one. Not for Denise, not for himself, not even for his poor sons. Every drop of sadness had evaporated in the red-hot rage that had coursed through him for years.
“Thank you for telling me.”
Ryder turned to face her. He couldn’t begin to understand what had prompted him to open up to her, but he didn’t regret it. Perhaps that was the most surprising part. And in some strange way, he actually felt lighter, like the burden of that secret was no longer only his to carry.
But now…he needed to forget again. “Your turn.”
She tilted her head, confused. “What?”
“A secret.”
She smiled, though the expression was wobbly at best. “Oh. That’s easy. I’m extremely claustrophobic.”
Ryder scowled, recalling the brief flashes of fear he’d seen in her face over the past few hours. “Darcy—” he started.
“Yep,” she said, drawing his attention to how pale she was. “I’ve been silently screaming inside my head since the power went out.”
Ryder reached out for her, tugging her into his embrace. “I didn’t know.”
“That’s what made it a secret.” She was reaching for levity, trying to mask her feelings with lighthearted words. They were both guilty of trying to shield their true feelings through jokes and casual comments tonight.
He held her tightly, trying not to acknowledge how good she felt in his arms. It was the first time he’d hugged her, and as he held her, he realized he wanted more than just a friendly embrace.
Fuck. He wanted way more.
“Are you okay?” he asked, forcing himself to release her.
“As long as I don’t think about it too much.” Her eyes traveled around the elevator, and he heard her take in a shaky breath.
“You’re thinking about it.”
She closed her eyes tightly, once again appearing to struggle to breathe. “The game was helping me forget.”
Ryder placed his hands on her cheeks. “Look at me, Darcy.”
She slowly opened her beautiful blue eyes. They were framed by long, thick lashes.
“Focus on your breathing. Watch me.” He took in a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before releasing it. “Do it with me.”
Darcy followed his lead, the two of them taking several long, deep breaths.
“In. And out. In. And out,” he coached.
“I don’t know how much longer I can stand to be in here,” she confessed.
“I’m right here. You’re going to be fine. I promise. Want more vodka?”
She grinned and shook her head. “No. I’m going to have to take a cab home as it is.”
Ryder agreed. “Yeah. Me too. We’ll split one. I want to make sure you get home okay. Considering it’s a city-wide blackout in Baltimore