Wicked as Lies (Wicked & Devoted #3) - Shayla Black Page 0,84

was the mole any more than he thought Trees was, but he had to start somewhere, establish who, if anyone, might have fucked with her computer or broken into her emails.

But his questions went nowhere. She’d never spotted anyone in the office messing with her machine or noticed anything amiss when she’d come back from the restroom or a break. She took it home most nights to get ahead for the following day. And on the rare occasions she didn’t, she locked it up in her desk drawer, as instructed. So there was almost no way someone would have unauthorized access to her computer. And Zy already knew Trees was way too sly to let someone into his computer without him knowing, so none of this shit made sense.

He was still stuck with two questions: How had someone known Trees and One-Mile would be in Acapulco, and who had passed Walker’s email with the schematic of Valeria’s safe house to Montilla?

He’d keep trying to figure it out. He had the shitty feeling the answer was staring him in the face, but he was too twisted up to see it. Probably because that wasn’t what kept him up all weekend. Maybe it should have been, but all he’d thought about was Tessa.

“Are you really all right?” he asked. “What I walked into on Friday night—”

“Don’t.” She stopped at a light and closed her eyes. “I don’t want to think about it.”

Because what Cash had nearly done to her was horrific enough. Zy didn’t want to think about how much worse it would have been if she hadn’t called him and he hadn’t intervened.

“I know.”

“You don’t. I feel so stupid. I’ve known for months Cash isn’t a good person, and I was never in love with him. He was a mistake that came from of carelessness and loneliness. I’ll be forever grateful for Hallie, but…”

“Why didn’t you kick him out sooner?”

“I wanted to. But I needed the money, and Cash promised he’d pitch in financially, which he did. He also promised to give me much-needed help with Hallie, which he didn’t. I talked myself into believing that I shouldn’t separate my daughter from her father.”

Zy got that. And in her situation, maybe he would have made the same choices. “Anything else?”

“Are you going to make me say it?”

Since he had no idea where she was going with this? “Yes.”

“I needed to distract myself from you.” Tears filled Tessa’s eyes. She tried to look away, but Zy couldn’t unsee her pain. “But I’d kind of liked Cash once, and I think some part of me was hoping that he’d make me forget about you, especially after you and Madison started…you know.”

He didn’t know. “You think we’re hooking up?”

“Yeah.”

“Baby, we’re not.”

“Semantics.” She scoffed. “You were. You called her after I signed my contract and all but announced you intended to fuck her again.”

It had clearly hurt her, and that made him feel like shit. “But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I haven’t had sex with her since early March.” Fuck, he and Tessa weren’t going anywhere—they couldn’t—but he wanted to be honest with her. “I haven’t with anyone else, either.”

She turned to him, open-mouthed and gaping. “You haven’t slept with anyone since…”

“I met you, no.”

Tessa swallowed. “I haven’t, either. I haven’t wanted to.”

On some level, he’d suspected that, but her admission still thrilled the fuck out of him. And his reaction was nothing short of stupid. What could he possibly do with the information except want her even more? Unless…

“The offer still stands. Quit your job. I’ll support you. We can be together and—”

“I can’t.” She looked at him as if that fact was tearing her in two. “I need to make my own way. And I need this job.” A tear fell down her cheek. “I wish things could be different.”

“If it was… If that fucking contract wasn’t in our way, would you?”

She didn’t even hesitate. “Yes.”

If a path ever opened between them, he’d be on her doorstep in less than five minutes.

“I know we can’t and that won’t change anytime soon, but I think about you,” she admitted, her voice shaking. “A lot.”

Fuck, she was gouging out his insides. “Baby, I think about you, too. I worried about you being alone all weekend.”

“I wasn’t alone.”

“Weren’t you? Who held you? Who made you feel safe so you could shower after Cash was gone? So you could sleep? So you could feel like you hadn’t been totally violated in your own home? While you were