Wicked as Lies (Wicked & Devoted #3) - Shayla Black Page 0,31

After all, he had to live somewhere once he left her place tomorrow. And he owed her nothing, especially since he’d already given her more of his time than she had a right to ask for. But even when he returned, it felt as if he already had one foot out the door.

Then Sunday afternoon while Hallie slept, he appeared in the hallway with his duffel and a guarded expression. Her heart dropped.

“I should go.”

He should, but the finality in his voice jolted her with panic as she headed him off in the kitchen. “Stay for dinner. It’s the least I can do to thank you. I’m making a roast and—”

“Thanks, but I found an apartment yesterday. I’d like to get my things out of storage and into the unit before I lose daylight. Trees, Cutter, and Josiah all said they’d help.” He glanced at his phone. “So I’m going to meet them in thirty minutes.”

This was the first she was hearing of his plans. Why hadn’t he told her yesterday? Or this morning? It wasn’t logical, but it hurt that he hadn’t. And that was her cue that she’d gotten too attached. Whatever he’d thought of her when he’d stared a bit too long, whatever he’d been feeling when he’d pleasured himself in her shower…he’d moved past it. Of course he had. Her life was complicated. She had responsibilities he wouldn’t want to shoulder full-time.

True…but it hurt like hell.

She needed to let him go with a wave and a smile. After all, Cash had crashed through her life like a vandal, making a mess of everything he’d touched and leaving her to clean up. But Zy had crept in like an assassin. He wouldn’t just leave her to pick up the pieces. If she let him, he would stab her in the heart and leave her to bleed out.

“Well, thank you for everything. I appreciate all you did for Hallie and me.” She tried to smile. “If you ever need a too-short sofa to sleep on or want another spoonful of homemade mashed potatoes, let me know. It’s the least I can do.”

Zy didn’t say anything for a long moment. He just stared at her as if he had something to say.

“Fuck it.” He dropped his duffel on the tile, then prowled in her direction, closer and closer. Instinctively, she retreated until she backed into the island. Then he planted his hands on either side of her hips and stared—into her eyes, then down at her mouth. He looked as if he was fighting himself.

From kissing her? Her heart skipped.

“Tessa…”

“Zy,” she answered automatically, her whisper sounding like a secret only they shared.

“Baby, you have to stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” But she knew. Even if it was stupid, his nearness made her feel electric. She ached for him so badly she throbbed.

“Like you want me to peel off your clothes and take you to bed as much as I’m dying to.” He shook his head. “Trying to pretend I don’t feel it when I do, that you don’t feel it when I know better… It isn’t working.”

Perversely, knowing he hadn’t mentally moved on made her feel better. Because what she felt wasn’t unrequited? Because she wasn’t the only one who would suffer this separation?

She closed her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Even if you hadn’t looked at me like that, I still would have wanted you.”

Not looking at him hurt too much. It reminded her of what life would be like when he was gone. And every moment she couldn’t see him was just a moment sooner to miss him. “What do we do?”

He shook his head. “The colonel gave me a talking-to the other night. If we let anything happen, we’ll both be fired.”

Fear seized her chest. “I need this job.”

She was barely making ends meet as it was, thanks to Cash still not paying child support. The cost of daycare was going to put her at the edge. If she couldn’t keep this job… Well, no one else would be willing to pay her this salary when she hadn’t finished college and didn’t have a lot of good-paying job experience.

“Same. I didn’t leave my last job on the best of terms, and Trees helped me get this gig. If I screw it up…”

She nodded. “Then…you should go.”

It killed her to say that. Zy leaving was the last thing she wanted, but Tessa didn’t see a choice.

She tried to tell herself it wouldn’t be horrible. After all,