said. “Why don’t we go to the café on the corner while we wait for Somin to scour the room one last time.”
Somin rolled her eyes.
“All right, but I’m buying.” Detective Hae ruffled Somin’s hair in affection, and the frown fell from her face. He’d taken to her immediately. Jihoon imagined it was because he missed his own daughter, who lived with her mother abroad.
“Ahn Jihoon?” A nurse stuck her head in. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t know your family was here. We just have a few discharge papers we need signed,” the nurse explained to Detective Hae, no doubt assuming he was the father in a happy nuclear family. Jihoon frowned.
“Sure,” Detective Hae said easily, and he followed the nurse, Ms. Moon on his heels.
“It shouldn’t bother you,” Somin said, and Jihoon jumped. He’d forgotten she was still there.
“What are you talking about?” Jihoon concentrated on gathering his bag instead of looking at Somin.
“We are your family,” Somin said.
“But he’s not my father. I haven’t had one of those for a long time.” Jihoon didn’t know why he felt so bitter about this except that he’d felt so alone in the last month.
“Neither have I,” Somin reminded him. “But I think we turned out okay anyway.”
He knew Somin was trying to cheer him up, but instead he felt shame on top of his anger. Somin’s father had died when she was still too young to know him. “I’m going to go see Halmeoni before we leave.”
Somin gave him a sad smile. “We’ll meet you in the lobby.”
* * *
• • •
The room was dark with the long curtains drawn. Halmeoni lay with her hands folded over her belly, probably something the nurses had done. She did look more serene this way.
“Halmeoni.” Jihoon took her hand in his. It felt paper light, like her bones were as hollow as a bird’s. “I’m all better now. You were worried, weren’t you?”
Jihoon’s eyes stung at the silence that followed. He didn’t like her blank face. She’d been so full of life, scolding him for staying out late or for coming home with bad grades. This version of her, empty and emotionless, this wasn’t his halmeoni.
“I’ll be back to see you tomorrow. Don’t worry about me too much.” He gently laid her hand back on the covers, hitched his backpack higher, and left. He didn’t go to the lobby, but took the crosswalk that led to the far side of the hospital campus. He hopped on the bus that pulled up just as he walked out to the main road.
44
MIYOUNG WATCHED THE door close behind Jihoon. She’d barely pulled the curtains around her when she’d heard him coming in.
“I know what you’ll say,” she said as she sat in the wide visitor’s chair beside Halmeoni. “I’m a coward. And you’re right, but I’m not ready to see him. Not yet.”
She picked up the hand that Jihoon had just put down. She thought she felt a spark as she rubbed her fingers over Halmeoni’s soft skin. A part of her wanted to believe he’d left it there, a piece of him that she could hold on to. And the rest of her, the smart part of her, knew it was foolish to read into a bit of static shock.
Then she closed her eyes and opened herself to Halmeoni’s energy. Not to siphon it, but to measure it. Because Miyoung had a good idea why Halmeoni wasn’t waking up.
There it was, weak like a fading star, Halmeoni’s waning gi. It was as Miyoung had feared: She’d given so much to Jihoon that she barely had any left. And she was trapped in this unconscious limbo. It seemed Miyoung had stolen a life that night even though she’d failed to kill to feed.
“I’m so sorry,” Miyoung whispered. “I never meant for any of this to happen.”
“He’d never forgive me if he knew what I did.” Miyoung brought Halmeoni’s hand to her cheek. “Do you think it’s selfish that I’m hoping not to tell him? I don’t want him to remember me as a monster. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but please let me try to save you. For him and for me.”
45
JIHOON’S PHONE BUZZED with messages as he rode the bus. The first came from Somin: What are you thinking?! Leaving alone? I’m never talking to you again, Ahn Jihoon!
Though he’d expected it, he still felt guilty, but if he’d left with Somin and her mother, they’d have tried to persuade him to come home