a big building you live in.” She leaned over the steering wheel to look up at the dorm. Her voice had taken on that chirpy, resolute quality I recognized from a few months back.
“Yeah.” I turned and looked up as well. From this angle, my dorm was a big plain rectangle of brown brick. The inside looked pretty much the same. “They’ve got a thousand of us in there.”
“That’s too many.” She clicked her tongue. “It wouldn’t feel homey at all. You know, I don’t know why you didn’t rush, Veronica. I loved my sorority house. There were about thirty of us, living in. We were like a big family. We all took turns making dinner, setting the table. It was so much fun.”
I said nothing. It was not a surprise to hear that my mother had loved this.
She looked down at my boots. “Oh good! You’re wearing them. How are they?”
“They’re great,” I said. “Thank you.” She had given me the boots for my birthday. They were nice, stylish, maybe expensive. She got a good discount at DeBeck’s, though she only worked full-time during school vacations. When school was in session, she took substitute teaching jobs during the day, and worked at DeBeck’s on evenings and weekends.
“I like your hair like that.” She lifted a long strand from my shoulder. “It’s very grown-up looking. You’re straightening it?” Her hand moved over her own curls.
I shifted in my seat. I needed to go. I wanted to go. But I could tell that there was something else she wanted to say. She looked coiled up, ready to spring, her fingers tapping the steering wheel.
She turned to me. “Christmas is coming up.”
I nodded. I wished it weren’t true, but it was.
“Elise doesn’t know if she’s coming home,” she said. “Or here, I mean. Her home is there now, I suppose.” She laughed a little, and then stopped. “Anyway, it might be just the two of us, if you come to my apartment. We could go out for dinner. Or a movie. That might be fun.” Her eyes moved over mine. “But if you already have plans…with your father, that’s fine, too. You could stay with me, but eat with him. Or you could stay with him, and eat with me. That would be fine, too.”
I looked back up at the dorm. In two weeks, it would close for winter break, and it would stay closed for a month. The year before, I’d loved going home for break. I’d gone back to the house on the cul-de-sac, and slept in my old room, my old bed. This year, no matter where I stayed, would be different. My father’s new condo had a guest room with a fold-out couch. At my mother’s little apartment, I slept in a sleeping bag.
“Can I get back to you on that?” I asked. I didn’t want to promise anything. I’d stayed with my mother for Thanksgiving, so it seemed I should stay with my father over Christmas.
I straightened up. “How’s Bowzer?” I asked. “How come you didn’t bring him?”
She shook her head. “He doesn’t like to be in the car now that it’s getting colder, I think.” She leaned forward and fiddled with the heater again. “I’ve got to get him in to the vet. He’s stiff. He sleeps all the time. And he’s so cranky.”
“He’s old.”
“No. It’s more than that. I’ve got to take him in.” She nodded as if making a decision. “But don’t worry about that.” She looked out into the night sky. “So what are you going to do tonight?”
I rolled my lips together. There was no point in talking. She did not hear me. “I’m going to study,” I said slowly. “I’m going to study like I do every night.”
“Oh. What are you going to study?”
“Chemistry. I have a test on Tuesday.”
“Honey. It’s only Wednesday.”
I looked at her. Make up your mind, I wanted to say. Make up your mind about how I should be.
She patted my leg. “I’m sure you’ll do fine.” She held her hand up to the heating vent. “Your sister is always busy. Always worried about the next big case, the next big meeting, can’t talk on the phone, she’s got to work. But you both always do fine.” She sounded sad, her voice wrong for the words. “You both always do so well.”
“Not anymore.”
“What?” She leaned forward to look at me.
“Nothing.”
“Honey. Tell me what you just said.” She reached over and pulled her old move, tickling beneath my