music was bad.” She sighed. “And then we’d all come home and drink hot chocolate.”
I pressed the elevator button. Marley would be fine. She had her happy, intact, childhood home complete with Christmas carols and hot chocolate. I didn’t want to talk to her anymore.
“Well, it’s almost time for finals,” I said. I checked the lights above the elevator doors. “And then the big winter break, not long after that. You’ll get to be home for a while.”
“Right.” She pulled a large bag of Cheetos out from under the blanket. “Hey, do you want to watch Friends with me? It’s on in ten minutes. I’ll make popcorn.”
“I’ve got to study,” I said. “Sorry.”
This was the way it went with Marley. We ended each conversation with her asking for time I didn’t have. She was never the one who was busy, never the one who had too much to do. I knew from experience that if I looked at her now, she would be staring at the floor, her brow furrowed, as if I’d just said something mean. So until the elevator came, I stared at the beige brick wall by the doors, where someone had written “I WAS HERE” in black Magic Marker.
My mother was wrong: It did not take just a minute to be kind. It usually took much longer, and I had things I needed to do. My mother would no doubt have sat down with Marley all evening, trying to cheer her up. But she had never passed organic chemistry. Her whole life, at least up until she met the Roofer, had pretty much been spent looking out for others, and not getting much else done.
“I’m getting you a space heater for Christmas.” Tim inched back toward the center of my bed. He was almost a foot taller than I was. My top sheet and comforter didn’t quite cover both of us, and his knees were cold against my toes. I moved my fingertips over the soft hair of his chest, his heartbeat still strong beneath it.
“I should probably leave by midnight.” He picked up a strand of my hair and wound it around two of his fingers.
I hadn’t expected he would stay over. He had to be up and on the road early—he had to be in Chicago by late afternoon to pick up other relatives who were flying in. Plus, of course, he hated the dorm. I glanced at the ceiling. My upstairs neighbor had been playing the same reggae song for the last hour, the steady drumbeat vibrating the exposed water pipes over my bed.
“I can stay for a while,” he said, turning toward me. “I’ll stay until you fall asleep.” He followed my eyes to the leaning pyramid of books and notebooks on my desk. “But you’re not going to sleep, are you?”
I shook my head. I would start working again as soon as he left, and maybe finish up with the dog sharks by two. That would give me almost four hours to sleep. Jimmy and Haylie’s flight left at eight; they were picking me up in front of the dorm at six.
“My lab prep is taking me longer than I thought.” I sighed, rubbing my eyes. “Because I’m stupid.” I looked away, embarrassed. I hadn’t meant to say that last part out loud.
He poked my shoulder. “Don’t say that.”
I yawned and waved my hands at him. I didn’t want to talk about it.
“No, I’m not.” I pulled the sheet up, tucking it around me. I could feel him watching me, studying my face. I shrugged. “Not the way Gretchen is. I study twice as hard as she does, and she gets better grades.”
He looked away, apparently considering the matter. I held my breath. Tim was usually both nice and honest. But in situations when he had to choose, he tended to go with honest.
“I wouldn’t say you weren’t quick,” he said.
“Okay. Great. Thanks.” I wanted to change the subject. I didn’t want to be so pathetic, the pathetic girlfriend, whining about being dumb. I smiled. “You’re right. I just got started late. There was a noise complaint on the fourth floor, and I had to go deal with that.” I looked back down. In truth, the noise complaint had taken about two minutes to deal with. Even my conversation with Marley hadn’t taken too much time. What had taken so much time was the fact that every time I tried to read a paragraph in my