Where Winter Finds You (Black Dagger Brotherhood #18)- J.R Ward Page 0,11
stunning, and it reconnected him with everything he had lost, better than a photograph because there was movement, better than a memory because there was conversation, better than a fantasy because it was real. Therese’s long, dark, curly hair, which was raked back and twisted into a tight bun per uniform requirements, was the precise color and texture of his Chosen’s. And the female’s pale eyes, perfectly set in her perfect face, were so like Selena’s he had to force himself not to weep. And her lips…
Well, they were like his female’s, too, and not just in terms of shape. And goddamn it, he shouldn’t know what they felt like.
He shouldn’t have kissed her on impulse that one time, and he shouldn’t have made this drive to see her, and he shouldn’t have come here tonight on a pretense just so he could stand in front of her and get caught in this net again. She was not his dead shellan come back to life. She was a young female, hired by his brother, to work here in this restaurant. A stranger. Who just happened to look something like the love of his life.
“Sooooo, yes,” she said slowly. “I’m fine.”
Her eyebrows lifted and she leaned forward, as if she were trying to help him with the conversation. Or maybe was wondering if he’d stroked out.
“Good.” Trez nodded. “I’m glad.”
When she looked around him, as if she had to get to work, he knew he was going to lose his chance.
“Listen, have you given any more thought about that house I can get for you? The rental we talked about?”
Her eyes swung back up to his. When she didn’t immediately answer him, he could feel his protective instinct come out, and he tried to reason with it. He didn’t get far at all. His need to ensure her safety was like a charging bull, and come on, like he expected something with four clamoring hooves and anger-management issues to speak English? Listen to reason? He’d have better luck trying to convince himself she didn’t look like Selena—and how far had he gotten with that one?
This whole thing was a mess. And he couldn’t leave it well enough alone.
“I thought it was an apartment,” she said with a frown.
“No, it was a house.”
“You’re really kind. But I told you last week that I’ve reconsidered and I’m going to stay put for now.”
“I know.” Okay, he was keeping his voice level. This was awesome. “But it’s a good deal. An even better deal. Just like I said, you can pay what you’re able now, and when you earn more, you can even it out later.”
“I really appreciate it…” She smoothed the hair she had pulled back flat. “But I don’t want to rely on you.”
He put out his hand, all Stop! In the naaaame of loooove. Or, from her point of view, Stop! For the love, please frickin’ stop with this rental malarkey.
“I don’t expect anything in return,” he said. “Just so we’re clear. This is not something shady.”
As her eyes dipped to his mouth, he knew exactly what she was thinking of, and dear God, he tried to hold the line with his libido. He shouldn’t have engineered it so they’d been alone together, and not only because she worked for iAm. He was in no position to be taking any female out. He was chest-deep in grief, as steady as a two-legged chair, and just as likely to end up in the Hudson River as to make it home safely at the end of any given night.
Put like that? He was worse than a booby prize. He was a lit stick of dynamite, sure to cause damage and destruction in her life.
And that was before anyone got to the part about him feeling disloyal to a dead female for even thinking like this. With Selena gone, he should be a monk for the rest of his nights. No doubt the fact that they looked the same was the only reason he was able to think sexually at all. But still.
“You said you would move,” he pressed. “When we were at the diner together. You said you would—”
“I know I did.” Her expression turned anxious. “And I didn’t mean to jerk you around. It was just, the more I thought about it, the more I felt uneasy about taking advantage of your connections.”
“I can take you after work to see the place. You can do a walk-through—”