quickly across her face. If Reed had blinked he would have missed it.
And yet, when their eyes met, chemistry sparked to life between them despite the apprehension he’d caught—and despite the grim nature of their dinner conversation. Reed wanted to groan aloud. He wanted to take her back to his apartment and head directly for the bedroom. He wanted her naked beneath him. Plain and simple. Only it wasn’t, because he wanted more than just her body. He wanted her heart, and he didn’t know if she was ready to offer him that.
Frankly, he didn’t know if she was ready to offer him her body again either. Now that he knew what sex was for her, how could he treat it with anything other than an extreme sense of gravitas? He’d been ignorant the first time, but he couldn’t use that excuse again.
The waiter showed up, interrupting the moment and clearing their plates. “Dessert?” he asked, and Reed looked at Liza. She shook her head, using her napkin to dab at the corner of her mouth.
“Not for me, thank you. I’m stuffed.”
Reed paid the bill and they left the restaurant, Liza pulling her coat around her as they walked. Reed reached down and took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. Her hand stiffened for a moment but then relaxed and she glanced at him, giving him a shy smile that made his stomach clench.
She was still such a conundrum. A woman passionate and confident—at least for the most part—about her career as a doctor, and almost a . . . girlishness about her when it came to flirting, to dating, to the smallest of touches. She’d put on a façade for him that first night they’d met but it’d quickly dissolved into a sort of skittishness that he believed spoke honestly of her feelings regarding physical touch. He wondered if she’d ever had a normal relationship, but didn’t feel like it was the right time to bring that up. For now, he’d follow his gut and his gut was telling him to take baby steps.
“I’m glad you agreed to stay at my place for a couple days.”
She nodded, biting her lip. “I hope I’m not taking advantage. I know you have a life.”
He made a small sound in the back of his throat. “Yeah, my life is this case right now.” He squeezed her hand gently. “And like I said, I’m glad you’re staying with me.”
They walked in silence for a block before she said, “Can I be honest?” She glanced at him and he nodded.
“I appreciate the fact that I feel so safe at your place. But it’s also . . .” She sighed as if she were having trouble finding the right words. “I’m almost dreading going back to my apartment. I feel this deep sense of . . . loss when I think about it.” She gave him another small glance and he sensed embarrassment in it. Hesitancy. “It’s where I allowed myself to talk to Mady.” She was quiet for a minute and he waited as she gathered her thoughts. “I’ve used talking to her as a coping mechanism, but also . . . it’s been a way to keep from forgetting her.” Her throat moved as she swallowed. “I don’t have any photos of her, Reed, no one else who loved her to reminisce with.” She took a moment before continuing. “I’ve avoided letting go in all the ways I should have because I wanted so badly to keep her with me,” she said, bringing her hand to her heart and tapping lightly. “I’ve . . . held on and I know I need to let go. But it’s going to be so . . .”
“Painful. Yes, I understand, Liza. I do.” Sadness made his heart feel heavy. He halted and she did too as he turned toward her. “I hope you’ll consider my place a refuge for as long as you need it.”
Her eyes searched his and she gave him a grateful smile, nodding almost shyly. “Thank you.”
They walked the remainder of the block in silence, turning into the main entrance of his building, and stepping onto the elevator together. Despite the heaviness of their recent conversation, tension built in the small enclosed space where they had once kissed and groped as it rose toward his apartment. He knew they were both remembering together by the way their gazes clashed and her pulse thumped steadily at her throat.