Where Foxes Hunt with Wolves - K.A. Merikan Page 0,116
life, steal my breath away and expect me to live on after you leave. The longer I’m here, the more it will hurt, and I already feel like I’m dying.”
Yev tried to even out his breathing, blinking several times when his eyes started to sting. Radek was right. He didn’t have the right to selfishly take Radek’s time. “I’ll drive you.”
“I’ll go to my mom’s for a while. Make sure I really have the shifting under control before I move back to Cracow. Could you take care of Coal for a few days? It’s not fair to uproot him when I have nothing set up for him there.” He wouldn’t look into Yev’s eyes, a shadow of the cocky brat Yev had first met.
And Yev missed that boy, even though he’d been the one to cause the change. “Of course. And you can visit him too.”
“I’ll just tell him I’m coming back,” Radek said and rushed for the stairs, but Yev still heard a sob tear from his throat.
His joints felt stiff as he sat on the sofa with the blanket as his only covering.
So it was over.
Maybe he should feel relief over not having to break up himself, but his chest was a gaping hole that gushed invisible blood. He’d miss being this important to someone. Having someone to protect and care for. But most of all, he’d miss being around Radek.
The members of his pack would never understand the sacrifice he was ready to make for them.
Chapter 22 – Radek
Radek wasn’t dying anymore. By the time they reached his family home in silence, he felt dead. His emotions were maggots eating through his decaying brain, and he couldn’t put together a coherent thought on what his future would be like now.
With Yev at his side, even having no arm hadn’t been that frightening, but now Radek hated himself for relying on someone else so much. He should have fought for his independence, not moved in like a stray cat at the first snowfall of the year.
But the latest visit to Cracow served as a painful reminder that he was not ready to be among people either. In his family home, at least, he knew every nook and cranny and could wait out a sudden shift somewhere neither Mom nor Mrs. Irena would find him.
He dreaded the necessity of returning to the fold with his tail between his legs, but where else was he to go if he couldn’t stay at Yev’s anymore. Emil and Adam’s cozy home briefly passed through his mind, but he didn’t want to ruin their domestic bliss with his gloomy presence, and if he did turn and they found him on their property, they might want to get rid of him, since wild animals usually only approached people when they were rabid.
Radek touched the tag in his ear. He couldn’t risk taking it off, and in the pit of his heart, he didn’t want to do it either. He wanted to be Yev’s, and it made him feel so pathetic he couldn’t stand himself, so as soon as Yev parked the car, he opened the door and jumped out into the cold afternoon that was already getting dark.
“Radek. Are you sure you’re all right? You tend to turn under stress,” Yev said from behind his back. He should get lost with that concerned tone of his.
“I’m not stressed, and stop rubbing it in my face.”
It wasn’t fair. Yev meant well, but Radek couldn’t bear his concern right now. Every caring word was a nail driven into his skin, because he couldn’t have Yev. Not really. The one time he’d gotten comfortable enough to trust a lover, to truly open up, he’d gotten devoured and would now be discarded like the core of an apple after the delicious flesh was eaten.
“Fine,” Yev said but stayed put, still watching Radek standing by the gate, as if he had nothing better to do.
“Fine!” Radek yelled back, even though nothing was fine and never would be. He’d lost an arm and could never explain to anyone how that had happened. He’d changed into a fox, but couldn’t tell anyone about it either. He didn’t have a job, or a boyfriend. His life was in shambles.
He didn’t wait for any more passive-aggressive bullshit from Yev and rushed into the driveway as soon as he opened the gate with a code. He wouldn’t turn back. He wouldn’t. Because Yev was not allowed to see just how upset Radek was.