When You Come Back to Me (Lost Boys #2) - Emma Scott Page 0,94
Drive, I hit the gas, desperate to keep up.
The sedan wove unsteadily on empty roads, thank God. Holden took the road that curved west along the coast, away from Santa Cruz. I chased him down the deserted highway, the ocean crashing out of the window on my left.
I flashed my brights at him, but he didn’t slow, and my pulse was a pounding beat in my chest as he sped faster.
The scenery in the dark around us gave way to farmland, and I wondered just how far Holden was going to go. But with another squeal of tires, the sedan took a hairpin left, rear wheels skidding, then righting itself again, tearing down a side road that led to the ocean.
“Fuck,” I swore as I overshot the turn. I hit the brakes and swung my truck back the way we’d come. I slowed down, feeling seconds slip out from under me, searching in the lightless dark for the same turn Holden had taken.
I found it—a small, winding road—and took it as fast as I dared. But there was nowhere to go except straight into the sea.
No fucking way…
Fear choked me, and I forced myself to calm down. The road ended in a small, dirt clearing. The sedan was parked askew, as if Holden had skidded into the spot. The door was open, lights on, engine still running. Holden was a black shape with silvery hair, striding unevenly toward the water.
“Oh shit.”
I parked the truck and raced after him, my dress shoes clapping on asphalt and then sinking into sand. Twenty yards ahead of me, Holden was stripping out of his black coat, leaving it to flap darkly on the deserted beach.
I screamed his name under the sound of the crashing ocean and the wind that whipped the black water into sprays of white foam.
Holden didn’t stop but took long strides into the water. Waves crashed against him, wetting his clothes to the waist. He was soaked up to his chest when I hit the shore. I sucked in a breath and bit out a curse as the cold bit me with sharp teeth.
He stopped, letting the waves buffet him, and stood very still…then dropped into the water as if his legs had given out.
“Holden!” I screamed, struggling through the waves that lapped at my thighs and the sand that pulled at my shoes.
For a few horrifying seconds, I thought I’d lost him. I couldn’t reach him. The tide pushed at me, keeping me from him. Then he came back up and stood still and calm but for the shivers that wracked his body. I closed the distance between us, reached out, and gripped his shoulder to turn him to face me.
“Holden…” I said brokenly. “What are you doing?”
“What they told us to do,” he said. His face was pale, a horrible, sad smile on his lips that were blue and trembling. “When you have unwanted thoughts and feelings…you go into the water.”
A strangled cry broke loose in my chest, and I pulled him to me, wrapping my arms around him. His arms hung by his sides, and he sagged against me. Tears burned hotly down my cheeks to the cold skin of his neck.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
Holden shook his head against my shoulder. “Nothing to be sorry for. It’s what I do. It’s all I know how to do.”
I pulled back and gripped him around the neck and jaw with both hands. “Listen to me. I’m going to tell them. My dad and…everyone. I’m not going to Alabama. I’m not going to play football.” I swallowed. “I’m not leaving you. I don’t want to leave you. I can’t.”
Holden’s face crumpled and he shook his head. “No. Don’t say that. Please…don’t.”
“I’m saying it,” I said, shouting over the ocean to be heard. To make him hear me and believe. “I should have said it a long time ago.”
“River…you don’t want this. I’m a fucking mess. I—”
“Who isn’t? Some people just hide it better. I’ve been hiding my whole life.” I gripped him tighter, holding his face in my hands. “You’re strong. You survived something terrible but you’re still here.” My voice cracked. “You’re fucking brave, Holden. You are yourself, always. I wish I were half as brave as you. But I’m going to try. Please let me try.”
Holden shook his head, his tears spilling over his cheeks and down to my fingers. “Don’t give everything up. Not for me.”