When You Come Back to Me (Lost Boys #2) - Emma Scott Page 0,73
headed upstairs. Violet stood in the hallway. She must’ve forgotten Mom had her appointment and didn’t need a PCV today. Lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t heard her come in.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” she whispered. Her hands twisted in front of her and an almost panicked worry flashed over her face.
“You okay? You look a little sad.”
“It’s been a rough couple of days,” she said.
“I hear you. Want to go somewhere and get something to eat? Take your mind off things?”
A key part of my grand plan to keep my world from imploding was to ask her for a second chance and go to Prom with me, but in that moment, she looked like she needed a friend just as much as I did.
Violet’s face fell a little, as if my invitation touched her more than she expected, and then hardened into determination. Her deep blue eyes regarded me, raking me up and down.
I smiled. “It’s a yes or no question—”
The rest of my words were lost as Violet flew at me and smashed her mouth to mine in a hard, flat kiss.
I stumbled back in shock, my lips stiff and closed as her arms went around me. She peppered my face with kisses, like a woodpecker. A wild, desperate thought took hold—I can like guys so long as I like girls more. This was my chance to salvage my life. To stop living every moment as if I were betraying myself.
I kissed Violet back, determined to ignite a fire between us, and she seemed just as bent on making something happen. Every awkward clack of teeth or uninspired touch of tongues only spurred her harder. She plastered her mouth to mine until I had to gasp for breath.
“Violet…?”
“Your room.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. No more talking.”
We made our way to my bedroom in a fumbling dance of awkward, tepid kisses. Violet pushed my jacket off and we tumbled to my bed where she straddled me, her body light and delicate where Holden was solid and hard. I shuddered at memories of that perfect night, where he’d reached around me to take my cock in his hand as if it where his. Using his own release as lubrication, then dropping to his knees…
Heat flared through me, then grew cold again as I came back into my room with Violet.
“I never expected this from you,” I stammered, putting words between our uncoordinated mashing of lips.
“Neither did I.”
She kissed me again and I tried to kick Holden out of the room, but it was useless. Against my will, I compared every touch of hers to his. Violet was too soft against my hard chest. Her small mouth and delicate lips couldn’t take the rawness I wanted in a kiss.
She wasn’t him.
Violet must’ve been forcing a desire she didn’t feel, too. We realized the futility of that at the same time—she rolled off of me and we lay on our backs, rigid with embarrassment.
“I’m sorry,” she said in a small voice.
“Me too,” I said. “I’m usually better…at that. You just took me by surprise, is all.”
“Okay.”
“That’s why I wasn’t…better.”
Pathetic.
“You said that already,” she said and covered her eyes, her body shaking with silent sobs. “I’m so sorry.”
“Hey.” I gently pulled her hands from her eyes. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Nothing’s wrong with you. It’s me who’s messed up. Believe me.”
She shook her head. “No. You didn’t deserve that. Everything’s been going all wrong. I used to be so organized and on top of things. Now…” She threw her hands up. “Now it’s all falling apart. I’m falling apart. Doing things I’d never do. Being someone I’m not.”
I stared at the ceiling. “Yeah. I know exactly how that is.”
“You do?”
“Definitely.”
She rolled to face me. “How? I mean…seems like everything’s going how it should for you.”
“That’s because I’m really good at making it look like everything’s going as it should.” I handed her a tissue.
“Thank you.” She dabbed her eyes. “Nancy told me you got into Alabama and Texas A&M.”
“I did.”
“You don’t look happy.”
Happy. It felt distant and unreal, the road paved with roadblocks too heavy to ever move.
“Can I tell you a secret?” I asked.
“Of course.”
“Swear you won’t tell anyone?”
“Cross my heart.”
I sighed. “I don’t want to play football anymore.”
“What? Really?” Violet propped herself on her elbow, her eyes wide.
“I haven’t wanted to…since forever, actually. It’s been more my dad’s dream than mine. He was a big star in his day and could’ve gone pro until a knee injury took him out.”