When the Stars Fall (Lost Stars #1) - Emery Rose Page 0,30

can read me?”

“Yep,” he said, so sure of himself.

“Then why do you need to ask if you already know me like a book?”

He carved his hand through his hair and turned his head to look at me. I forced myself to meet his gaze. He licked his lips and for a moment I saw a flicker of guilt cross his face. So fleeting I might have imagined it.

Not like we’d ever promised to be each other’s first. Not like we were anything more than just friends.

“What did you hear?”

“Pfft.” I waved my hand in the air. “I don’t have time for idle gossip.”

“It didn’t mean anything. The kiss,” he clarified.

From what I’d heard, it wasn’t just a kiss. By the sound of it, they’d done a lot more than just kiss. I’d missed that stupid party. I’d missed the fruity vodka drinks and the shots and the kissing and the sex or whatever else had happened at yet another of Ashleigh’s infamous pool parties.

I didn’t go to parties anymore because I needed to be here. Just in case.

Most of the time, my mom was asleep. She slept more than she was awake these days. But still. I didn’t want to miss any of the time when she was awake and wanted to pass on her wisdom to me.

“Oh. You think I care that you kissed Ashleigh?” I laughed like that was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard. “Why should I care?”

“Because if you kissed someone, I’d care.”

I snorted. “You don’t want to kiss me but you don’t want anyone else to kiss me.”

“What makes you think I don’t want to kiss you?”

“Do you?”

He shifted as if he was going to move in and kiss me. Which was when the lights came on and the TV blared so loud, I nearly jumped off the sofa. Jude grabbed the remote and lowered the volume and we sat back and watched TV just like nothing had happened. Because nothing had happened. He glanced at me but I kept my gaze focused on the TV. We were watching a movie but I didn’t even know what it was or what it was about.

“You can go now. The storm has passed.”

“Okay,” he said but he stayed right where he was, sitting next to me on the sofa, close enough that I could feel the heat from his skin and smell his boy scent. Close enough that I could hear his inhales and exhales, feel the rise and fall of his chest. Was his heart beating wildly like mine was? Was his pulse racing? I felt like I could barely breathe. Neither of us dragged our eyes away from the screen.

“You told Ashleigh we were just friends. Figured you wouldn’t care what I did with her.”

That was a year ago when I was younger and stupider. “What exactly did you do with her?” Using my middle finger, I chipped away at the indigo blue polish on my thumb.

“I don’t kiss and tell.”

I used my middle finger in a different way. He chuckled under his breath. “Is that for me... or Ashleigh?”

“You.”

It was for the best. Even worse than knowing where his mouth had been was knowing where hers had been. I punched a throw pillow in frustration which made him laugh even harder. I was a source of entertainment for him.

I was sixteen, and I’d never been kissed. It was all Jude’s fault. He’d staked his claim and all the other guys thought I was off-limits.

“He’s the most amazing kisser. Oh my god, he’s so hot,” Ashleigh gushed. Pretty sure she only called me to gloat and rub it in my face.

How amazing could it have been? Not like he had tons of experience. How had he even known what to do? Maybe he’d been hooking up with girls left, right, and center and I just hadn’t known about it. In the past year, he’d gone to a lot of parties that I’d missed.

I’d never be his first kiss now. Not that he even wanted to kiss me. Ugh, I didn’t know.

I didn’t know what Jude and I were to each other anymore. It used to be so simple. He was my neighbor. My best friend, sometimes enemy, but not really. The boy I grew up with. The most annoying boy in the world. Mr. Know-It-All. He was the boy who taught me how to climb a fence and skip rocks and swing from a rope tied to a tree. He was the boy I’d