Kim looks up at me, her gaze flicking to my mouth. "Can I tell you something?"
"Anything."
"I don't think I'm mad anymore." She puts her other hand over mine and traces one of my fingers with her fingertip. "I realized that in port. I'm not mad, and I realized I trust you. I don't think I've stopped trusting you. I think I was just…hurt." She gazes down at our joined friends. "I don't want to be an object. I want to be a partner. If someone needs killing…I want to be in on it." She blows out a breath and crosses her eyes. "God, what am I even saying?"
"I understand," I tell her. "It is not the killing. It is that you were left out. It is that I made decisions on your behalf instead of including you."
"Yes. Exactly."
"No more," I promise her. "I want you involved in everything. You are my mate. My partner. We are in this together." When she gives me a small smile, I squeeze the hand over mine. "What would you like to do now?"
Kim snorts. "I'd kind of like to hide for a bit. I feel very…exposed leaving our homestead. And we have a whole week to get to know people, right?" She lifts one shoulder in a mild shrug. "Can we stay in and just like…hang out?"
Hang out. Kim has said this to me before, and I know from experience it means to spend time with one another. Usually we play cards or watch one of my vids, but there is not a lot of room in this cabin for us to spread out and give each other space. I do not see a vid player either, other than a rudimentary comm system. "I believe the vid-screen is in the common room. Did you just wish to talk?"
"Or read? Just something to relax. I feel very tense."
An idea hits me. "You could read part of your book to me."
"Um. I don't know." She looks worried.
"I would love to hear it. I want to know what you are sharing with others."
Her face colors and she slips her hand out of mine. "You do realize it's a romance, right? It might not be your kind of story."
"Why would it not?" I pull out her datapad from its spot tucked into a side pocket of my bag and offer it to her. "You were working hard on this last night. Read me the scene you are working on."
Kim's face turns a shade of red I have never seen before. "Not that scene."
"Why not?"
"It's…" She clears her throat, and her voice is strangled. "It's a love scene."
Well now I am even more intrigued. "I would like for you to read this to me, Kim. Perhaps it will give me…guidance."
"Guidance?"
"On how to pleasure you." I'm purring again, the rumbling starting low in my chest.
"I don't think you need guidance on that." She gives me a soft look, her lips parted. "The last time we were together…that was pretty good."
"Only pretty good?" I nudge the datapad again. "Then I definitely need guidance."
59
KIM
The thought of reading my story aloud to Nassakth feels so intensely vulnerable. I glance over at him, clutching the datapad to my chest, and there's a look of heat in his eyes. He's seated so close to me that I can feel the warmth flowing off of him, I can smell the scent of soap, and his freshly brushed tail tickles against my leg.
What will it hurt to read a tiny bit to him? my brain asks.
"You…you can't laugh," I tell him. "If you laugh, I'm going to stop."
"I would never laugh." The look he gives me is grave. "You have put a great deal of effort into it. Why would I mock it?"
Because it's a girly book? Because I'm writing about all kinds of filthy sex acts and won't have sex with him? There's a million reasons that flutter into my head but somehow, I trust him. He knows it’s important to me, so he's going to do his best to take it as seriously as I do. I lick my dry lips and gaze down at the pad I have clutched in my hands. It doesn't have to be a love scene, I reason. It can just be any sort of scene. It can be the hero and heroine having a conversation. Granted, there aren't a ton—I've had a lot of unfulfilled needs since landing on Risda and have