it yet. No other male would be idiotic enough to offer to marry without sex, but I am so lost in my heart-feelings for her that I am exactly the kind of idiot she needs.
15
KIM
I’ve never driven down to Nassakth’s farm, even though I know it’s not far from my own. I expected it to be a small and unimpressive as my own plot of land.
Ha.
Ha ha.
The universe is determined to show me what a dumbass I am.
The best word to describe it is “palatial.” There’s a massive house made from natural stone, with tons of windows. Large, leafy trees line the road and encircle the house, the largest greenery I’ve seen since landing on this planet. His fields are flat and perfectly tilled, with crop-tending drones moving over one row after another. He’s growing something different from me, the plants green and tall and strong, similar to corn but with bluish pods instead of yellow cobs. The next field over, there’s fat meat-stock animals wandering lush green fields, and it looks like a picture-perfect paradise.
I’m…jealous.
And even more baffled than I was before. Why did he agree to a platonic relationship with me? He’s not getting anything out of this. I eye Nassakth warily. Either he doesn’t think we’re going to be all that platonic, or there’s some other motive here.
He parks the air-sled, frowning a little when the engine rattles before it turns off, and then looks over at me. “Would you like to see my house?”
I gesture at it. “You mean this palace?”
Nassakth chuckles, smoothing one of the tufts on his cheek. “It is perhaps a little more ostentatious than it should be. Even an old fighter has vanity that must sometimes be appeased.”
“You keep saying you’re old. How old are you?” It’s awfully hard for me to tell given that he looks like a cross between a human and a cat and most of him is covered in gray fur. Is he super decrepit and expecting to die soon? Is that why he married me?
“A praxiian’s lifespan is similar to humans, I believe. I am forty-five. Not so terrible in general, but ancient for a gladiator.” He smiles, showing bright white canines. “Is that too old for you?”
“I don’t see how, considering we married just to be friends.” I emphasize the last word, watching him.
Nassakth sighs and glances at his house, as if he doesn’t want to meet my gaze. “I should confess something to you before we go much further, Kim.”
“I knew it!” I reach over and slap his arm, furious. “You’re going to kill me and steal my land, aren’t you?” I slap at him again, wishing I had a weapon. “You monster!”
He grabs my hand, holding my wrist, and his brows furrow together, his ears flattening. “What? Why would I want your land? It’s the worst homestead on this entire keffing planet and it’s covered in a drug I have no wish to ever see again.”
I struggle in his grasp. “Then why—”
“Because I like you!” he roars. “How many times must I tell you that?”
I freeze. He lets go of my hands and I retreat back to my side of the air-sled, rubbing my wrists. For all that he grabbed me, his touch was gentle and warm, and I’m not sure what to think about that. “I guess you need to tell me that at least one more time for it to sink in.”
He snorts, either amused or exasperated. Or both. “I was going to tell you that I have agreed to a marriage in name only, but my heart-feelings for you have never changed, and I wished to be clear.” Nassakth glances over at me again, watching me with those strangely intense cat eyes. “I am content to be your friend for as long as you need, but I will also not deny that I hope that in time we will become something more.” He shakes his head. “Now I am wondering if that is a foolish hope, seeing as how you think I am bringing you here to bury you in my backyard.”
The big praxiian sounds so sad I almost feel guilty. Almost. I’ve been through too much in the last few years to apologize for my actions, though. “You have to look at it from my point of view. Everyone I have met for the last five years has tried to take my money, enslave me, rape me, or steal my land. If I don’t trust you, it’s because you haven’t