What Part of Marine Don't You Understand - By Heather Long Page 0,28
with the stick, and Matt threw it again, throwing it three more times before he sighed and looked at her.
“I promised James I would be honest with you. So here it is…I came back this time, and I decided I either got better, or I was done. I wouldn’t put my family through that again, and I didn’t think I could go through it again. I asked James today why he diagnosed me now, why they got me the dog and didn’t tell me about his training, what made this time so different….”
Naomi held her breath, the absolute quiet and certitude in Matt’s voice aged him.
“I was suicidal. I’d made the decision this time. No more sitting on the fence, it was over the wall or I was done.” He exhaled the words in a rush. “I sat with a gun on the table every night for a week.”
The information sent a shock of pain through her. She reached out and caught his hand. “Matt….”
“No, let me get this out or I won’t,” he admonished. “I couldn’t do it. I thought about it, worked it out in my head. Imagined what it would be like, but I couldn’t—wouldn’t—do it. I locked the gun away and took Jethro for a walk…and then I met you. I can’t get better for you, I can’t make my recovery about you, and I’m not doing that.”
Jethro dropped the stick and came over to rub against him. Matt wrapped his free arm around the dog and scratched between his ears. “We’re good, buddy. Almost done.” Squinting at her, Matt blew out a breath. “I’m damaged. It could take a lifetime to put the pieces back where they’re all supposed to be. You said last night you could handle it, and I believe you. I promise you I’m going to do my best to handle it, too. But we gotta be honest. I have to be honest with you and you have to tell me when it gets to be too much. That way—we do it together.”
She melted. “Okay.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh, yeah.”
Tugging her hand, he pulled her closer and she crawled into his arms and met his kiss. “Matt—it won’t be easy. Nothing worth having ever is. I like what we have though, and I’m willing to fight for it.”
“Okay.” And when he said it, she heard the I love you.
“Think we can get naked now?”
Naomi laughed and rose, dusting the grass off her bottom. “Race you!” She sprinted, taking advantage of the few seconds he needed to get the leash on Jethro, but he made it to her door before her and as soon as the lock gave, they made it to the bed in record time.
Chapter Nine
By late afternoon, Naomi felt wrung out and limper than an overcooked spaghetti noodle. She poured everything she had into every single song. The band Phil hired proved exceptional. They took her music and turned it into something magical. Breaking for a quick dinner and with only two songs left to go, she begged off eating with everyone—walking down the street to a sandwich shop and finding a quiet place to sit and just be.
Making music was a dream—had been a fantasy for years—actually making it? Alone for five minutes in her head, her mind whirled with the possibilities. She checked her phone—four messages—all from her brothers and one from her sister-in-law. Hitting callback on Ryleigh’s number, she listened to it ring.
“Hello, Guitar Girl, glad you found five minutes to call me. I was starting to feel ignored.” Eight years her senior, Ryleigh became the sister Naomi never had. Brent met her in high school and they dated through junior college, his boot camp, and married before his first deployment.
“I heard tell of ovulation so I really didn’t want to interrupt.” She could totally discuss that topic with her sister-in-law.
“Ahh, yes. We’re safe, I promise. Brent’s got meetings on the Hill for hours yet. It’s almost like he’s deployed, only I get to see him for five minutes each night before he falls asleep on the sofa.”
“Things going good then?” The breeze off the river, the sun dappling the sidewalk, and the quiet murmur of background conversation helped Naomi relax.
“Really good. He likes what he’s doing, but even when he complains, you can see it in his eyes, you know?”
Yeah, Naomi knew. Brent loved a good fight. Win or lose, he thrived in the trenches and against the odds. “I know you were worried when he decided to run.”
“Yeah, but