in jewellery and neither is it my husband begging to come back to me. It’s better than that, it’s real.
It’s Paul, the man who knows me, who accepts the good and bad. Who, as it turns out, really loves me, because it’s an engagement ring he’s placing on my finger. My eyes fill with tears that he could even think I would say no to him.
I love him.
I’m happy.
I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
But there’s a second tear in my eye as I see a new ring on a finger that’s been empty for a long time.
A tear that’s not for Paul but for him, because despite all the shit, there were good times and I’m starting to remember them.
Though of course I can’t say that to Paul.
I can’t really talk about it to anyone.
No one could understand.
CHAPTER SIXTY ONE
Lucy
I don't really have many choices.
I really can't turn this client down.
Things haven’t exactly taken off.
Simone insists that I don’t drop my price.
It’s quality that people want.
Anyway the phone has rung and this woman needs me to come on a Sunday – she works all week and her husband is out for the day. It’s the only time she’s got.
I’m sorry, I can’t tell you who it is.
I pride myself on my confidentiality.
I can’t leave Charlotte alone all day. Well, maybe I could leave her, but we’ve only been in the new home for a week. The sale and move just happened so quickly. I want to make sure she’s okay with it all before I leave her here alone and I’m still a bit wary with all that happened on Facebook.
I’ve made some friends at my slimming club but one’s skiing and one’s got twins and an autistic child and a teenager from hell (no wonder she eats), so I don’t really feel I can ask her, and Yolanda’s working. Though Charlotte sort of talks to Felicity now I’m not even going to go there.
I think of Gloria.
So too does Charlotte but I don’t really feel I can ask.
Anyway, there’s someone else I can fall back on now.
Someone who really deserves to be asked, so I take a breath and I ring Mum instead.
She’s delighted.
She’s been waiting for twelve years for this – for me to trust her with my child and I do, I think I do. Yes, I do, or I’d never leave her.
I’m not worried about Charlotte as I work, as I sort a whole lot of chaos out – and I do a great job, she tells me.
She’ll be recommending me.
I’m so sorry that I can’t tell you who she is, or go into greater detail. Women are trusting me with their guilty secrets you understand.
But, given that it’s you…
I mustn’t.
I can’t.
Okay, I’ll give you a clue.
It’s someone you’d expect to be a little more prepared…
Be Prepared!
Get it?
Of course, given her status, she knows an awful lot of mums in the village.
An awful lot.
‘Lucy,’ she tells me as she waves me off. ‘You can expect to be busy any time soon.’
I’m still grinning like an idiot when I park my car.
I’m a Personal Organiser and I’m paid fifty quid an hour to do what I completely love.
I turn the key in the door and as I walk in I stand there for a moment, still smiling, as I watch myself in the kitchen with mum.
I’ve never seen the likeness between me and Charlotte so clearly – it must be the braces, because there she is in profile and she’s a mini pre-peroxide me. She’s making chocolate crispies with mum – and we did that.
Mum and I did that.
Yes, it was crap and there were so many bad times, just so, so many bad times, but I’d forgotten that there were good times too and I stand there for a moment remembering them.
‘Hi, pet.’ Mum looks over and smiles. ‘How was work?’
‘Good,’ I say and I walk over and she digs out another spoon from the drawer and I fill it.
‘She used to lick the bowl,’ Mum tells Charlotte and Charlotte laughs. ‘She’d put her face right in it.’
Mum suggests that we go for a walk, the three of us. Christmas is coming and Lucy will be getting fat, so I say yes and we head to the park I used to go to sometimes when I bunked off school. There's a massive old manor house and a lake at the front and it’s all frozen over. Some kids are skating on it and Charlotte sees the