I look into her green eyes and she looks right into mine, I see the hazel fleck and her eyes smile at me and for a second I recoil.
I’m startled.
But then I look again and I am lost in her eyes. Daisy is the third person in the world whose eyes I can look into and there’s something there, something I recognise, someone else I see smiling back at me and telling me I will be okay.
That this I can do.
It isn’t just the day he died.
It’s the day she was born.
It isn’t just the day he left.
It’s the night that she arrived.
I feel the breeze and the sun and the smells of spring and somehow I know that Daisy was meant to be here this year to help us all through, to heal us.
That Daisy was simply meant to be….
Gloria and Charlotte get into the car and I offer to help and clip Daisy in.
‘You’re so precious,’ I say.
‘Oh she is….’ Gloria agrees from the driving seat and I look up from Daisy and out of the back window I see Luke walking back from the grave. I know Gloria’s probably watching from the rear-view mirror so I try not to look, I try to be slow, I want him in his car and gone before Gloria drives off.
I cannot be on my own with him.
I go back to Daisy’s eyes and they’re still smiling at me - they’re telling me that this I can do and there’s a shiver that runs down my arms as Gloria starts the engine and then speaks on - except, it doesn’t scare me this time.
I know, as I step out of the car to stand-alone and face Luke, that what Gloria just said is somehow true.
‘She’s an angel.’
CHAPTER SEVENTY
‘Not here.’
Just two words he says to me.
He’s black and white apart from the red of his eyeballs.
Luke gets in his car and I get in mine and I don’t know where he lives now. I am really crap at following at the best of times, so you can imagine what I’m like now! I’m terrified I’ll lose him, that we’ll have to stop so he can text me his address and that we’ll end up shagging at a roundabout.
I forget to indicate and break and things and I take a corner in fourth gear. A car blasts a siren, but I don’t care, I just want to get there as soon as I can.
People turn and look as my car skids past.
And all I can think is that it’s a good thing I’ve got my favourite silver underwear on.
I’m not so bold when I get to his flat.
There are a few things I recognise, I walk past his leather sofa and through to the kitchen and I’m shaking as I pour a glass of cool water and take a drink.
I think of Jess, I’m scared I’m wrong, but is that what her text message meant? That in a while she’ll be okay with this? I want to be sure that we’ll always be friends.
I’m at the sink drinking water and he comes up behind me, his mouth is on my bare neck and then he turns me around and his hands slide over my dress – and I shiver with want, but I need to be sure, I walk off but he grabs me, I can feel the metal of the fridge on my back.
I’m so scared that this is wrong
‘It’s okay,’ he says.
Just two words.
Two words that I so needed to hear.
‘It’s going to be okay, Lucy,’ I feel my terror leave.
He kisses me then till I know it’s right. Till I know that we have met in forbidden dreams, till I know that this too was meant to be.
He kisses me till my silver knickers are down on the floor and I honestly don’t have the mental capacity to work out who took them off, I just know that finally he’s inside of me.
Finally.
My legs are wrapped him as he moves deep inside, we’re locked in eye contact as he moves deep within but this time it’s just us, this time it’s real and there is no room for shame.
‘I love you, Lucy,’ he says and I tell him that I love him too.
I look the man I love right in the eye as I say it but then I have to close them.
I have to close them because I’m sobbing, but in the nicest of ways, as Luke makes all of my dreams come true.
The end xxxx
I hope you enjoyed reading Lucy and Gloria’s stories and, if you did, it would be wonderful if you could leave feedback.
I love hearing from readers and I can be reached via my website at www.carolmarinelli.com
What Goes Around… is loosely linked to Putting Alice Back Together
To find out more about Alice and that confrontation on the stairs Lucy spoke about at the funeral click here: