She ran her hands through her hair. Looked like she’d just washed it. She was wearing a white tank top and black stretch pants—I couldn’t see her feet because she was still on the staircase.
“And … well, you know how people are. I wasn’t going to use the outside steps. The old lady who lives right across the street, she’s like Neighborhood Watch. Sits there all day, watching.”
“You wanted to ask me something?”
She took that as inviting her to come the rest of the way up. I saw where her shoulder came to on the wall above the railing—she was maybe five two, at the most.
“More like a professional opinion,” she said. “Now, I know, this must happen to you all the time. Like at parties: people find out a man’s a doctor, they start asking him all their medical questions. I apologize if … if I’m doing that.”
I stepped back, making it like I did that so I could sit on the couch, get some distance.
But she came closer.
“Could I ask you a personal question?”
“Uh … okay.”
“How old are you?”
“Forty.”
“Well, what it says on your license, you’re only thirty-nine. I mean, you were born in 1970. December. This is still only July, so you’re not forty yet, right?”
“On my next birthday.”
“I know. I was just … I mean, I didn’t believe you were that old when I first met you. But I guess, being a personal trainer and all …”
I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t trying to stare her down, or even make her uncomfortable, but I didn’t want her coming up here all the time. I was glad I had the glasses on.
“I’ll bet, if you asked a hundred people who were about to turn forty how old they were, ninety-nine of them would say thirty-nine. Maybe all one hundred.”
I shrugged. That’s what I do when I can’t see where someone’s going.
“It’s not the age you are, it’s the age you look, isn’t that true?”
“On the outside, maybe.”
“Well, I bet for the people you train that’s what’s important to them.”
“Oh sure,” I told her. I was a lot more comfortable now that I could see where she was going. “Yes, it would be. But there’s a lot more to it than losing weight. Like cardio. And eating right. I guess it’s more about being healthy than looking … younger, or whatever.”
“Could you tell by just looking at a client what they’d need for a … a program, right? Isn’t that what you call it?”
“Yes. A program, I mean. But you can’t tell anything by looking at someone. You need a body-mass index for that,” I told her.
I could feel the confidence in me, now that I knew she wasn’t asking her questions to check my credentials. The more a person is paying attention to themselves, the less they pay to you.
“Are you saying you can’t tell if someone is too fat?”
“That wouldn’t be my decision.”
“I don’t understand.” She walked over to where I was sitting, hesitated a second, then sat down in the armchair to my right. She crossed her legs. I could tell she was pressing down hard over her knee, because her thigh pulsed. She was barefoot. Small feet, high arch. Shoulders back, spine straight.
Posing.
If I didn’t say anything, she’d think I was going along, looking her over. So I told her:
“If someone thinks they’re too fat, that’s what counts. Or too skinny. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks; if someone’s … dissatisfied with themselves, that’s enough. But nobody should go into training because of what other people think.”
“Really? Then how come so many movie stars have all kinds of plastic surgery?”
“I don’t know any movie stars, so I’d be guessing, but I’d still come down on the same spot. Maybe, for them, it’s still about what other people think, only there’s a lot more of those people.”
“But that’s dangerous, isn’t it? Botox in your face, collagen in your lips, that’ll cost you in the end.”
I could tell she wasn’t asking a question, so I just nodded.
“Even liposuction, people die from it sometimes.”
“I guess so. I don’t know anything about stuff like that. My clients make their own goals—it’s my job to make up a program so they can reach them.”
“Well, my husband is always telling me I’m too fat.”
I shrugged again. She was headed back to a place I didn’t want to go.
“He thinks what I do is just sit on the couch all day and watch TV. You