wait. She didn’t want him to think it through without at least hearing her side of the story. But if she wanted to talk to him, she was going to have to go to him.
She sweet-talked Rob, who looked after the snowmobiles for the lodge and sometimes took guests out.
“You want to take a snowmobile?” He scratched his head. “You shouldn’t ride alone.”
“I won’t be riding alone. I’ll be with Dan. We were supposed to go together, but I was held up.” She delivered her most charming smile, pulled on a snowmobile suit and climbed onto the snowmobile with as much confidence as she could muster.
She tried to remember what Dan had taught her. She was pointing in the right direction, the key was on and the emergency kill switch was up.
Trying to look confident, she jerked her way along the track that led away from the hotel.
Chances were that Dan would have taken the same route they’d taken the other day. She knew he loved the area around Maroon Bells. Her guess was confirmed when she saw what had to be his tracks.
She opened the throttle and went a little faster. The fresh snowfall created a powdery dust as she traveled, reducing visibility. Nerves flickered through her. She was going to put the damn thing in a ditch, or maybe she’d break through ice and drown. Did this trail cross water? She tried not to think about the fact that she’d failed her driving test five times.
There was no sign of Dan, but that didn’t surprise her. He always drove too fast. If she wanted to catch up with him, she was going to have to do the same. She had to do this. She had to talk to him.
She went faster, the snowmobile cutting through the snow. The sky was blue, the trail was empty. Had it been a different day she might have thought this was bliss.
Finally, she reached the frozen lake and there, standing on the shoreline, was Dan.
He must have heard her approach, but he didn’t turn until she’d walked up behind him.
“Dan?”
“I came here for some space. I needed to think.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. But—” She reached out and touched his arm, and felt something close to physical pain when he shrugged her off. “We have to talk. Please. You owe me that.” She felt cold. So, so cold and she knew it had nothing to do with the outdoor temperature.
“You’re urging me to talk? Do you see the irony of that?” He turned to look at her and there was a hardness in his face she’d never seen before.
“Of course I do.” Her chest felt tight. Was it misery and distress, or the beginnings of an asthma attack? One sometimes led to the other. She wished she’d remembered to put her inhaler in her pocket. She pulled her scarf over her mouth. “I understand why you’re angry, but I need you to know I love you. I really love you, Dan.”
His eyes didn’t soften. “You wouldn’t tell me if you didn’t.”
She thought of all the things she’d said to her sister. “I’d tell you.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me you were having doubts?”
“I tried a few times but you—you misunderstood me, and—”
“So it’s my fault?” He didn’t yield. He didn’t give an inch, but neither did she.
Even though she hated confrontation, she was prepared to do whatever it took to make him at least understand her feelings. “I’m not saying it’s anyone’s fault. Only that I didn’t find it easy to say, and every time I tried you thought I was saying something else, so in the end I didn’t say anything at all and honestly I wasn’t even sure my doubts were real. I was doubting my doubts.” She tried to laugh, but her body refused to cooperate. She felt as if she was fighting for her life. She was certainly fighting for her love. For their love.
He turned away again, as if looking at her hurt too much. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“So—what?” Her throat felt thick. “This is it? You don’t love me anymore.”
He gave a humorless laugh. “You think I can switch it on and off? I wish I could. I still love you.”
“Then—” She spread her hands. “I don’t get it. Why can’t we talk about this and move on?”
“Because what happens next time, Rosie?” His voice was raw. “Next time you have an issue you want to talk about, something that is worrying you, something that maybe