We Are Totally Normal - Rahul Kanakia Page 0,16
lot of things.”
Actually, I’d gotten excited by the idea of Carrie coming along. It’d be really cool for her and me and Avani to hang out together. Maybe we could invite Jessie too.
Her phone chimed. “Carrie can’t make it. Now can you talk to Hen?”
“Fine. Umm, let me use your phone.”
I called him. Using my voice. In real time. He was surprised to discover it was really me, and at first said he was busy, but Avani whispered, “Tell him you need his help.”
“One second.” I put the phone on mute and hissed. “Can’t you do the talking? He and I really aren’t friends.”
“Tell him you need his help. Tell him the plan.”
“Uhh, okay.”
I stuttered my way through an explanation, feeling brutally stupid, and in the few seconds after finishing, I was sure nobody would ever agree to do this. There was silence on the phone, and I kept talking. “Okay, it’s sort of weird, but I dunno, I want to do something that’s not, like, ‘get drunk at the beach,’ ‘get drunk in a basement,’ ‘get drunk in a car parked in a field next to a cliff.’”
“Wait, where’s this cliff? I want to see the cliff.”
“Just drive down Skyline and look for all the smashed bottles.”
“So . . . everywhere on Skyline. Everywhere.”
I laughed. Hen was one of those guys who always had a witty comment, and I told myself that guys like him needed straight men (LOL) to set up their punch lines, but I secretly wished I could be the funny one sometimes.
“Look, you’re high up on the list for this caper, but I can find someone else.”
“Now it’s a caper. Is there an actual plan of some sort?”
“Yeah. Improvise.”
“Okay. You’ll pick me up?”
“Definitely.”
“And pay for my ticket?”
“Mmm, sure.”
“And snacks?”
“I’ll pay for everything.”
“Wait, who’s getting set up with whom?” Avani broke in.
My ears went red. “Uhh, cool, see you soon, bye.”
When the call ended, she pinched my cheek. “You got so embarrassed. You’re uncomfortable around Hen. You need to work on that.” When she let go, I rubbed my face. Seeing her there, smiling at me, I thought about confessing to my hookup with Dave. I knew she’d accept and love me, and it’d be cool, and probably afterward we’d even be closer. But then I saw the sweep of her body on the couch, and I thought, How can I tell her I’m gay when really she is the person I think about all the time?
But still the pressure to be honest only dissipated when she flicked a switch and RuPaul’s face unfroze and began once more to speak.
5
AVANI MADE US STOP FOR coffee—not Starbucks, it had to be Philz—so we were twenty minutes late even before we started. The coffee was a stream of acid poured directly into my tense stomach, but I drank it just to have something to do. I’d thought our outing would be full of laughter and jokes, but Avani spent most of the coffee break on her phone, texting with Jessie.
After we got back into the car, I kept saying I couldn’t believe this thing had come together. Finally she said, “Please stop saying ‘caper.’ I never want to hear that word again.”
“What if we decide to get bagels?”
“Then say you want them with those tiny pickled olive things. Just don’t say caper, or I’m kicking you out of the car.”
When we picked up Hen, the awkwardness multiplied. My brain still ached from the drinking on the beach, and I kept running out of things to say. Even before we arrived, the car stank of boredom and regret.
The mall was immense, tree covered, and mostly open to the air. Flowering vines hung from the mezzanines above, and the staircases and promenades curved around each other to catch maximum sunlight.
We huddled in a corner of the food court. Hen and Avani were hardly talking, and certainly not to each other. When Avani whipped out her phone, it was actually a relief to not have to entertain her anymore.
Dave bounded up, smiling. He was back in his bow tie, and I had the urge to ruffle his hair. Despite everything, my mouth cranked into a smile, and something inside me relaxed. He and I at least were totally natural around each other.
“Hey,” I said.
“Nice, nice,” he said. “Happy to see everybody.” The sunlight brought out the many different tones of his skin, and all of them were radiant. “Hey, have you bought your tickets yet? Mari’s not here yet, but I’m