died every day in the Warrens. It stirred something in her that she’d thought long dead. Without so much as a word, she knew she could offer the boy a mother’s arms, a mother’s embrace, a safe place. She could give a refuge, even to this child of the Warrens, who’d probably never been held in his life. A soft look, a touch on his cheek, and a word, and he would collapse into her arms and cry.
And what will Durzo do? Vonda had barely been dead three months. He’d lost more than lover when she’d died, and Gwinvere didn’t know if he’d ever recover. Will he understand that Azoth’s tears don’t make him weak?
To be honest with herself, Gwinvere knew that holding Azoth wouldn’t be just for Azoth. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d held someone who hadn’t paid for the privilege.
And what will Durzo do if he sees real love now? Will it make him be human, or will he tell himself Azoth is too weak and kill him rather than admit that he needs him?
It all took her just a second to read the boy and weigh her options. There was too much at stake. She couldn’t do it.
“So, Azoth,” she asked, folding her arms under her breasts, “who’d you kill?”
The blood drained from Azoth’s face. He blinked as fear suddenly cleared his eyes of the tears that were threatening.
“First kill, too,” Momma K said. “Good.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Azoth said, too quickly.
“I know what a killer looks like.” Her voice was sharp. “So who did you kill?”
“I need to talk to Durzo Blint. Please. Where is he?”
“Right here,” Blint said, behind Azoth. Azoth flinched. “And since you’ve found me,” Blint continued, “someone better be dead.”
“He . . .” Azoth looked at Momma K, obviously wondering if he could speak in front of her. “He is.”
“Where’s the body?” Blint demanded.
“It’s, it’s in the river.”
“So there’s no proof. How convenient.”
“Here’s your proof,” Azoth shouted, suddenly furious. He threw what he was holding at Durzo. Durzo snatched it out of the air.
“You call this proof?” Durzo asked. He opened his hand and Momma K saw he held a bloody ear. “I call it an ear. Ever known a man to die from losing an ear, Gwin?”
Momma K said, “Don’t you put me in the middle of this, Durzo Blint.”
“I can show you the body,” Azoth said.
“You said it’s in the river.”
“It is.”
Durzo hesitated.
“Damn you, Durzo. Go,” Momma K said. “You owe him that much.”
The sun sat fully above the horizon when they arrived at the boat repair shop. Durzo went inside alone and came out ten minutes later, rolling down a wet sleeve. He didn’t look down at Azoth as he asked, “Son, he was naked. Did he . . .”
“I got the noose around his foot before, before he could . . . I killed him before.” In cold and distant tones, Azoth told him everything. The night was fading like a bad dream, and what he remembered doing, he couldn’t believe he had done. It must have been someone else. As he told his story, Blint looked at him in a way no one ever had before. It might have been pity. Azoth didn’t know. He’d never seen pity before.
“Did Doll Girl make it?” Azoth asked.
Durzo put his hands on Azoth’s shoulders and looked into his eyes. “I don’t know. She looked bad. I got the best person I could find to try to save her. Kid,” Blint looked away, blinking. “I’m going to give you one more chance.”
“Another test?” Azoth’s shoulders slumped. His voice was flat, deflated. He couldn’t even spare the energy for outrage. “You can’t. I did everything you said.”
“No more tests. I’m giving you one more chance to reconsider. You’ve done everything I asked. But this isn’t the life you want. You want off the street? I’ll give you a bag of silver and apprentice you to a fletcher or an herbalist on the east side. But if you come with me, you trade everything for it. Once you do this work, you’ll never be the same. You will be alone. You will be different. Always.
“And that’s not the worst of it. I’m not trying to scare you. Well, maybe I am. But I’m not exaggerating. I’m not lying to you. The worst of it, kid, is this: Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose. If you come with me, you must forswear love. Do you know what that