Why? Why did she need to go? It kills me thinking about it. My cock though, it's happy as hell, and I move my hand up and down, pumping the veiny rod until I come hard against the shower tile. My balls ache, and I crave Kourtney's soft hands to cup them, hold them tight. I crave her back on my bed, her knees spread, my cock sinking deep into her tight virgin cunt. Damn. She's a virgin. Maybe that's why she left in a hurry.
Maybe everything was moving too damn fast. If she felt what I felt then she knows what I know — that her and me, we go together.
As I dry off, my heart pounds. I try to fall asleep but it's only ten o'clock at night. I pull out my phone and I look at the photo we took, her and me, tacos and margaritas in front of us. I smile to myself thinking about how we won that game, the trophy in our hands.
Knowing I have her number, I send her a text.
Kourtney, it's me, Kaden. Thank you for tonight. I want to see you again. I miss you already. I'm lying here in bed and all I can think about is how you're the girl I want to hold.
I send it along with the photo, knowing my words are bold, but I don't care. I'm laying it out there.
I don’t torture myself by staring at the phone screen, hoping for a checkmark to know she read it. When one doesn’t come, I power off my phone and close my eyes.
Tomorrow I'll make a plan to make her mine. I just hope she texts me back, gives me some clue, some reason to believe that maybe she might see me the way I see her, as my forever.
Kourtney
I toss and turn all night. All I can do is think about Kaden, his body, his hands, his firm chest, his eyes when they looked into mine. I felt safe with him. I did. I wasn't scared to go in his car. I wasn't scared to kiss him again and again. I wasn't even scared to tell him I was a virgin, or that I was a bookworm in high school who didn't have any friends.
I felt comfortable with Kaden, more comfortable than I've ever felt with any other guy. And yet I told him to drive me home. I pushed the brakes when I should have asked him to turn that engine up as high as it could go and take us both somewhere far away.
We were up there on a perfect lookout point, the stars above, the night ours, no one around, just us. It could have been the perfect night, and instead I got spooked.
Why would I think I'd get that kind of happily ever after with a guy I just met? A guy so far out of my league I feel a little queasy thinking about it. But when he looked at me, it did seem like he liked what he saw. That he liked what he touched and felt.
After all, he's the one who kissed me. He's the one who pressed his hands on the small of my back, who brought me to his car. He told me he liked me. A lot.
Kaden didn't hold back, so why did I have to?
After hours of this, of my body aching for him… for more… my alarm clock goes off. I look at my phone and see I missed a text from Kaden.
I read it and my heart starts thumping in my chest. I miss you already.
Oh God. Why did I walk away from him? I have to fix this… but how? How do I reply to a text like that? I already know I’ll be overanalyzing it all day. My alarm buzzes again, reminding me I can’t overthink this right now — I have to get ready for work.
Groaning, I head to the kitchen to make coffee and make sure my brother Billy is up for the day.
"You were out later than normal,” he says.
"Yeah… I had a date."
"A date?" Billy laughs, surprised. “Oh, you’re not joking?” He's a senior in high school and thinks he's got the whole world figured out.
"Don't look at me like that," I say. "It's not like you ever go on dates."
"Yeah," he says, "but I wish I did."
I smile, knowing he's had a crush on the same girl since middle school.