Warning Track (Callahan Family #1) - Carrie Aarons Page 0,77
want to stay with me? If it comes down to it, what will he choose, me or baseball?
One of our phones begins to buzz on the carpet below my bed, and I turn to face him. “Do you think we should pop our bubble now?”
Hayes tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear, and I get distracted by the sight of his bare bicep flexing above my face. “Can’t we stay here a little longer?”
“I’m afraid my uncle and his team of PR hounds might slaughter me if I ignore them anymore.” I chuckle, but I’m not joking.
The face on the pillow next to mine seems to sober, and I can see the harsh morning after reality setting in. This is exactly why we existed in the shadows before, operating in darkness and keeping our romance to ourselves. Because I knew this is what would happen when it all came out.
“I know what happened between us last night. But in the light of day, I wouldn’t fault you if …”
I trail off, not really knowing what I’m trying to say. The first time I broke things off, just weeks ago, it was because I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn’t feel like getting into it, describing all the reasons why I was afraid to love him. But now, it seems I have to.
“When you came to my house on the day of the anniversary, I was emotional, yes. But it doesn’t make my feelings and rationale any less valid. I’ve worked my entire life to get to this place, and the fact that I got here on some technicality and through the strife I did only makes it seem more fragile. I love you. It scares me to death how much, but I won’t be one of those women who gives up all she’s worked for just for a man or a relationship. This is my legacy, one I intend to work on every day. My job, this team, it makes me happy. It’s an intricate part of me, woven into my soul. But you are, too. I love you, Hayes, you’ve become one of the most important people in my life. Watching Shane and Hannah, I know how rare what we have is. I don’t want to let that go. I also don’t want to become my father. I’m still so scared, so unsure. And I also don’t want you to go down with my sinking ship. That first day, in the corridor, you said you wanted nothing to do with the Callahans—”
Hayes presses a gentle finger to my lips, halting my speech. I can feel the tears threatening to come, and I’m getting myself just as upset and confused as the day I broke up with him.
He looks me in the eyes, searching for something, and then takes a deep breath.
“I told you a while ago that I decided to not just be a baseball player. I decided to use this career to see the country, to experience things a lot of other players overlook due to the beast of the game. What kind of man would I be if I went back on my word? Because you are included in that. I don’t want to just travel along this journey solo any longer. I don’t want the lonely nights and endless hours of practice, all the post-game recovery and speculation about my personal life in the media. I want you. I want to really do this, the right way, out in the open. I want to be partners, to support you in being successful as the powerhouse that you are, while you support me as I play toward the end of my career. I’ve always viewed love and family as a far-off stage of life, something I’d focus on when the physical ability to play good seasons left my body. And then I met you, Colleen, and knew that I couldn’t wait. That I didn’t want it to. If it means juggling a whole lot of complications, of nights apart, of an endless media circus while also trying to win games then I’ll do it. I have to, because it means I get you. I get us.”
Well, he’s finally broken me as tears stream down my face. If there was the exact right thing to say in this moment, Hayes just nailed it. I’m a blubbering mess, kissing him with wet lips and sniffling like a total crybaby.