Warning Track (Callahan Family #1) - Carrie Aarons Page 0,14

relishing the feeling of the cool burn sliding down my throat.

An old Billy Joel tune wraps itself around the patrons of the restaurant, the melodic, merry-go-round tune making me tap my foot against one of the wooden feet of the stool. The place is packed, even for a Wednesday night, and the low lighting and Packton-pride decor makes it feel like a home away from home. On one of these walls hangs a picture of me from the high school accounting club, and I’m pretty sure I should steal it and burn it one of these times because it’s pre-braces coming off.

“Amen to that. It’s been a week. Alex is still not getting the hang of potty training, which means pee. Everywhere.” My cousin rolls her eyes.

“I think I’d take pee over having sports networks hounding my office about our two-game losing streak. Two games, at the beginning of the season! I want to scream at the idiocy.” I roll my eyes.

Whit pats my hand. “One, we said no work talk. But putting a pause on that rule, you’re doing a fantastic job, Col. Everyone sees that.”

She holds up one finger to tell me to hold on, because her phone just dinged in her bag.

Whitney checks her phone, smiling at the text that Ian, her husband, undoubtedly sent her. Sometimes, when I spend a night with her, I wonder what that’s like. I even long for it when I go home to my empty house.

My cousin met her husband in college, where she studied hard but had a big social life, too. Unlike me, who stayed in my dorm when classes weren’t happening, Whitney rushed a sorority, went on spring break trips with Ian after they met sophomore year, and eventually said yes when he proposed a week after their college graduation.

Now they’re happily married with two sons, a four-year-old and two-year-old.

I wonder, sometimes, what it’s like to have that kind of family unit. To come home to that love every day. To look down at your phone when you’re out without them and know that all of that is waiting for you at home.

Most of the time, I’m okay with my decision to put my career first. I know I’m nowhere near past the point of being able to get married or having a family, but with the way I work all hours of the day and am unable to connect on a personal level with a lot of people … I just don’t see it happening. It’s not something I can realistically envision.

And that’s okay most of the time, like I said. I love my job; I love dedicating my life to my family dynasty. Especially now, I love that I can dedicate myself fully to turning our image around, even in the darkest of times. My commitment has been and always will be to this organization, it’s my first true love.

But when I see Whitney, I can glimpse it for a moment what it might be like. To have a husband, to have a man love me so deeply that he’d commit his life to mine. I can see the children, a bouncing baby on my hip that curls into my chest. My heart flutters at the thought, at letting that much love into my heart. Coming from the kind of family that I did, I don’t even know what that’s like.

Some women just aren’t cut out for family life, and maybe I’m just one of those. But why does my heart sink a little at the thought of that?

“Now, let’s talk about something more important; when was the last time you got laid?” Her eyes dance with wickedness.

A swallow of vodka gets stuck halfway down my throat and I choke on it. “Jee—Jesus, Whit, warn a gal!”

She leans forward conspiratorially. “Because I’ll tell you, it’s been about six hours for me. Ian came home on his lunch break, and we role-played. He was my boss, and I wore this sexy little skirt—”

“Okay, I don’t need that much detail.” I hold my hands up. “Though, I have to admit that I’m a little jealous. Not of your sex life, but of other people. Having sex. In general. It’s been …”

I tap my finger to my chin, because I honestly can’t remember the last time.

“That’s sad. You can’t even remember!” Whitney fills in the blank of my silence.

I shrug. “It’s just not something I’ve been focusing on.”

In truth, I’ve never focused on it. Dating, men, relationships … they