but she’s not beautiful the way you are. I didn’t mean it as an insult in any way.”
“But the women you dated before me, they were all glamorous; all like her, I bet. I don’t fit. I don’t fit you, and I don’t fit your world.”
“You don’t fit my world, Cassie, and I hope one day you’ll be safe to leave, if that’s what you still want, but the reason you don’t fit is you’re too damn good for it. Not because you’re not beautiful enough, or any of the things that go on in your head.”
I don’t want to leave at times like this. I’m torn. Half wanting to run away, and half wanting to stay forever. I think he’s just as torn because he changes his mind as much as I do.
“Stop being so down on yourself,” he orders.
“Yes, sir,” I say, and it’s jokingly, but as soon as I say it the air around us changes.
“The doctors tests shouldn’t take too long, so by tomorrow we should know if we’re both clean.”
“Okay,” I say.
I want him inside me with nothing between us, but I also don’t. The reason I don’t is it’s another barrier to break down, which I’ll have to build back up when he lets me go.
I’m a prisoner who doesn’t want to escape. How ironic is that?
“Come here,” he orders, and crooks his finger.
I do as he says and go to him. He brushes my hair back from my face and kisses me long and deep. I melt into it, into him. Soon we’re naked, and I don’t recall how we got from dressed to nude, but I don’t care. He’s kissing me and stroking me all over, and I want him so much. The first touch, the first kiss, and I’m wet for him, every time.
He rolls on a condom and sits on the edge of the bed, feet planted firmly on the thick carpet. Positioning me over him, he has me close, legs bent and splayed on either side of him, my knees on the comforter.
I start to move, and it feels different between us for some reason. We’re slower than usual; he’s being gentle with me, as if I’m made of glass. His hands sweep up my back and then down again. He lifts my hair, caressing my shoulders, slow thrusts up and down. We’re still kissing and touching, front to front as I move on him.
“Touch yourself,” he commands.
I do. I would have been embarrassed to do this with Tim, thinking maybe, deep down, he didn’t approve. With Konstantin, I know, whatever else may be a barrier between us, but this … this we’re good at. We don’t have any barriers when it comes to sexual intimacy, unlike emotional intimacy. I’ve not been with many men at all, but I know we’re amazing at this.
“Christ, Cassie, I’ve never wanted anyone as much as you.” Konstantin’s words echo my thoughts and warm me to know I’m not alone in this desperate, needy thing between us.
I stroke myself, and I start to move faster, grinding on him as I take what I need. Konstantin gives a surprised shout and pulls me close as he comes. I haven’t come yet, but I don’t mind; it was still good.
Konstantin, however, does mind. As soon as he’s come down from the immediate high, he pulls me gently off him and flips me onto my back on the bed, and settles with his dark head between my legs. His mouth is wicked sin incarnate, and in a few moments, I find my own release, pulling him to into me by his hair as I come like crazy.
After, we lie next to one another, panting, and he laughs. “You’ll be the death of me.”
“I doubt it, the life you lead,” I joke.
He turns to me, brushes my hair from my damp cheek, and kisses me softly.
“Want to go get your things?”
“Okay.”
We share a quick shower, my hair pulled high on my head in a bun so as not to get it wet. We get dressed, and I’m more than a little shook up when Konstantin puts a huge ass gun into a halter wrapped around his t-shirt and throws an open, light shirt over to conceal it. It doesn’t conceal it all that well in my opinion, but maybe that’s the look he’s going for.
We hit the downstairs hallway, and Konstantin calls out for Bohdan.
“Yes, boss,” the man says as he appears in the hallway. He’s wearing