Tears burned my eyes, and I kept them clenched shut so the tears didn’t slip free and ruin the moment.
I’d wanted this for so long, but I’d almost given up hope of ever getting to experience it with Jagger. Not just his kisses but to have something special with him. A relationship just as strong and full of love as Violet and Luca’s was. My best friend and her boyfriend were so close, so connected, they already had their entire lives planned out. At times, I’d even been jealous of my bestie and her boyfriend because they had what I wanted with a guy I never thought I would ever get to call my own.
It was ridiculous, being jealous of someone I loved more than life itself, but it was true. I wanted what she had, and I knew she would do just about anything to help me get what I wanted if she was aware of what I really wanted.
But other than to tell her I had a thing for Jagger, I’d never told Violet how deep those feelings went. How I dreamed of planning my future with him. Of maybe one day far, far into the future actually starting a family of our own together. I didn’t want a baby until I was at least thirty, but I did know that when I imagined my children, it was Jagger who was their father.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Jagger’s lips had trailed from my mouth to my jaw and down my neck, while his hands pushed my hoodie up out of his way. “I’ve dreamed of this so many times, Dimples. I’ve lost count of how many mornings I’ve woken up to the image of you just like this still in my head as I jerked myself off.”
The mental images he was putting in my head only made the ache between my legs more intense. Lifting my hips, I rubbed myself against his hardness. “I can’t say the same about waking up fucking my hand, but I’ve fallen asleep plenty of times after getting myself off thinking about you.”
His groan sounded tortured as he buried his face in my neck. Between my legs, I felt just how much he liked the thought of me touching myself. His cock twitched against my core, and a mewl-like sound came from the back of my throat as I arched into him a little more.
Reaching up, I caught the back of his head, ready to pull him down for another kiss, but he suddenly went statue-still over me. The creaking of the top stair had my heart stopping just as Jagger jerked my hoodie into place and sat up. Tossing the throw over us, he grabbed one of the decorative pillows and put it over his lap.
I stayed there, eyes closed as I pretended to be asleep while he kept his gaze on the TV just as I heard my brother grumbling to himself. “You two are still up?” His surprised voice didn’t hide the anger underlying his question.
“Shaw fell asleep not long ago, and I was about to call it a night myself,” Jagger said, his voice not giving away even an ounce of anything he must have been feeling right then.
“Oh,” Cannon muttered. “I’m getting a bottle of water. Want to watch this movie in my room? I can’t sleep.”
“Yeah, sure. Let me wake up Shaw so she doesn’t get a stiff neck, and I’ll be right up.”
I could practically feel the hesitation coming from my brother, but after several moments, he gritted out an unhappy “Okay” and stomped up the stairs.
Jagger touched my leg, and my eyes snapped open. “That was close,” he whispered, his face tight and slightly pale.
“Jags…” I tried to catch his hand, already knowing he was slipping away from me not just physically but emotionally too. I could almost feel the walls slamming down between us, and it broke my heart.
“He’s my best friend, Shaw.” A muscle ticked in his jaw, and when he looked at me, his gaze didn’t meet mine. “I can’t lose him.”
“You won’t,” I tried to argue, fighting tears. “He will get over it. I promise.” It might take a while, but I knew Cannon wouldn’t be able to hold it against either of us for too long. Even though he acted like he hated me more often than not these days, I knew in my heart that my brother loved me and would want me and his best friend to be