between us three for now,” Uncle Ax said after a moment. “We both know how stubborn she is. Just make it easier on yourself and keep quiet that we all know about you two. At least for now.”
“Yeah, okay,” I agreed and glanced down at my phone, looking at the background picture on the screen. It was one of the selfies we’d taken before dinner earlier that night. Both of us were smiling, but instead of looking into the camera, our eyes were on each other.
I traced my thumb down her cheek, wishing I had whatever superpowers Ma had so I could fix everything for us and I could just be with Shaw right then.
When the show was finally over and the three of us were on our way back to the hotel, Uncle Axton called his wife. From what I could hear of the conversation, Shaw and her mom were going to stay in New York for a day or two longer. Meaning if I didn’t see her the next morning, it could be days before I saw her again. I closed my eyes and tried to remind myself to stay patient, but it was so fucking hard when all I wanted was to grab her and bind us together.
In my room, I packed my cases so everything was ready to go the next morning, then dropped down on my bed and tried to call her again. But she must have turned off her phone because it went straight to voice mail. Muttering a curse, I decided to take care of that fucking picture and any other ones once and for all.
Calling Ma, I spent twenty minutes explaining everything to her and telling her my plan. She readily agreed to help me and told me not to worry about it. But fuck, I couldn’t not worry. If it didn’t work, Shaw might never talk to me again. Just the thought of never hearing her voice, her laugh—fuck, even hearing her yell at me—was enough to make me sweat.
I had breakfast in the hotel restaurant the next morning with Dad and Uncle Axton, and then we made the trip to the airport in silence. The flight home was long and boring without Shaw there to snip and sass me. The dads spent the time sleeping, but I needed something to do so I didn’t drive myself crazy. I pulled out my music journal and worked on a few songs in an effort to think about something other than Shaw.
Once we were back on the ground, I tried calling again, but her phone was still off. Uncle Axton told us goodbye, while Dad and I got in Dad’s SUV. “Your mom is at Shane’s,” Dad told me after checking his phone before starting the car, his brows pulling together. “Guess it’s just you and me for dinner.”
Grunting, I pulled on my seat belt and leaned back. “Let’s just grab some drive-thru.”
He sighed heavily. “It’s going to work itself out, son,” he assured me. “Just be patient.”
“If this was you and Ma, would you be able to patiently sit back?” I shot at him.
His shoulders tensed for a moment before dropping. “No, Jags. But you two are still in high school. You have time to figure this shit out.”
“I keep telling myself that, but it doesn’t help.” I wanted Shaw to be my forever, but I also wanted her to be my now as well. It was killing me not to be able to call her mine when I knew it was what we both really wanted.
That night, I slept like shit and tried in vain to get her to talk to me. She’d kept her phone off, and what I needed to say to her wasn’t something I wanted her to hear in a message, so I didn’t leave one.
She didn’t come back until Monday evening, so I didn’t see her again until after school Tuesday. Frustrated with her and the entire situation, I left before my last class, and after driving my car home, took an Uber to Santa Monica.
I was waiting in the student parking lot of her school when the bell rang. It was nearly fifteen minutes later before she walked out. Her head was down, her shoulders slightly hunched forward, as if she had the weight of the world on those slim shoulders. Seeing how defeated she seemed, I had to force myself to stay where I was and not just grab her.