Wanted Angel - Sadie Moss Page 0,61

a random bedroom, one of the ones on the second floor, and sink onto the bed. I’m crying so hard that there’s snot on my face. I need tissues, my eyes are puffy, and all-in-all, I just feel absolutely shitty.

There are so many emotions running through me that I don’t know what to do with them. I’ve never cried this hard before, not even when my favorite characters have died on television shows, and it’s not because I’m sad—or at least, not only because of that. I’m just feeling so much, and I don’t know what to do with all of it. I can’t possibly hold it all in. No wonder humans are so emotional and irrational all the time.

How can they stand to be like this? How can they possibly control it?

The door opens and I sit up, lunging for the box of tissues that sit on the bedside table so I can blow my nose and wipe at my eyes. Beckett and Ryland stride in like they own the place—which they kind of do, I guess—closing the door behind them.

“How could you do this?” I demand, hurling the tissues to the floor and springing to my feet. “You’re the leaders, you’re the ones in charge! They listen to you. And because of you, they’re going to charge into battle. They’re going to die, one way or another. Either Salinas and Anderson’s forces will find a way to kill them, or they’ll be redeemed and cease to exist.”

“Maybe.” Beck’s voice is quiet, his green eyes serious as he regards me.

“How can you let that happen?” I explode. “I thought you loved them! Please, they’ll listen to you if you tell them that we’re not going. You chose this and so they’re choosing this too—because they look up to the two of you. It’s true, whether you want to admit it or not! And you know it too. You know it, and you’re leading them into this anyway!”

Beckett strides forward, reaching out for me, but I shove at his chest. “No. Don’t touch me. Don’t try to tell me it’ll all be okay when it won’t.”

Ryland approaches, but he comes around from the other side, so quiet that at first I don’t even realize he’s there—not until I take a step back from Beckett and bump into him.

I whip around to glare at his perfect, chiseled face. “That’s not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair,” he shoots back.

“Is that what you tell the people you beat in court?”

“Maybe. On occasion.” One corner of his mouth tilts up a little.

I fold my arms. “Neither of you is going to convince me that this is going to work out okay. I almost lost you all—I thought I had lost you all—and I’m not going to go through that again.”

“You’re acting as though we don’t know how you feel,” Beckett says, and I turn to face him again. I’m seriously boxed in here, the two of them leaning over me, determined and in control, and I wish it wasn’t as sexy as it is. “We know. Angel, we know what it is to feel loss. To lose someone that you care about. And how all you can think about is what you would’ve done differently to make sure it didn’t happen.”

I snort, and Beckett lightly grabs my chin, tilting my face up and closing my mouth in one smooth movement. His touch doesn’t hurt at all, but it’s firm.

“Listen to me,” he says, his voice commanding, and I remember all over again that this man is the head of a business empire, and he didn’t get that way by being the kind of person who bends. “You want to know why Ryland and I were at odds for so long? Why we didn’t speak to one another and why we’re arguing constantly? Once, we both fell in love with the same woman. We both wanted her, and we fought over her, and in the end, we both lost her. Neither of us won that day. We were both bitter and hurt, and we’ve been taking it out on each other ever since.”

“The whole idea of letting something go if you love it,” Ryland says, his mouth right by my ear, “is utter nonsense. We walked away from her, fighting each other instead, and that meant she didn’t feel loved by either of us. We should have been focused on her. And because she felt neglected, she left us. We told her to choose, and she chose