Wanted Angel - Sadie Moss Page 0,24

how best to do it.”

I’m rambling, I can tell. Even though I can’t sleep, it doesn’t mean I’m not tired, and that exhaustion is destroying my brain-mouth filter, letting all kinds of stuff escape.

“I feel like I’ve changed a lot since I came down to Earth,” I continue. “And I’ve changed even more since I met you all. It’s not a bad thing, but it’s scary. I see these people with goals, with drive and passion. It’s the most wonderful thing about humans. Their lives are so short compared to ours, but they burn all the brighter for it. They have this wonderful purpose that they just… decide on. They have causes they fight for. And I don’t have anything like that.”

Knight shifts a little closer to me on the couch. His dark eyes almost seem to gleam in the light, and I’d bet anything that he’s sensing the envy in me.

I sigh, shaking my head. “Heck, forget a cause to fight for. I don’t even know what makes me happy.” Then I scrunch up my nose, reconsidering. “Or, it’s more like… I’m beginning to realize I wasn’t happy this whole time, maybe not ever before, because I’m finally starting to be happy now. It makes me see what I was missing, you know? The problem is, I don’t know what to do with it or how to keep it.”

Something passes over Knight’s face, but in the dim light, I can’t quite read his expression. He gestures toward the hallway that leads toward the back of the house where most of the guest bedrooms are, where the other men are sleeping. He makes a circle with his finger as if encompassing them all and then points at me.

Ah. A flush rises in my cheeks as my stomach does a little flip, and I’m glad that the shadows and my dark complexion probably hide my blush.

“Yes. I… I think that you all make me happy.”

Knight’s eyebrows shoot up. He points at himself and shakes his head, looking incredulous. I don’t make you happy.

“Of course you do.” I smile at him and take his free hand, the one that he’s not using to gesture, in both of mine, squeezing it. “You make me happy too. You’re thoughtful and you listen so well, and I know you’re always looking out for me.”

Knight blushes and looks down, shrugging his shoulders. The butterflies in my stomach flap harder.

I tilt his chin back up, keeping the connection between us even after he raises his head. “I mean it, Knight. It… it makes me sad to see that you think so little of yourself.”

Knight gestures toward himself in a sweeping gesture and arches an eyebrow, and I understand what he’s trying to say. Or the gist of it anyway.

I’m Envy. I was made this way. Made to want what I’m not.

“I know. But that doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of happiness. And your brothers aren’t perfect, you know,” I point out. “Uncontrolled wrath or constant greed? Those aren’t necessarily good qualities. But you’re the only one who lets it eat you up inside, and you deserve better than that.”

I drop my hand to his chest without thinking about it. I feel Knight’s breath catch, and my own echoes it.

“I mean it,” I say. “You’re a good person, Knight.” It comes out as a whisper, barely audible.

We stare at each other for a moment, and I can feel the energy of my wings trembling. They spring from my back in a burst of feathers, and Knight jerks back a little in surprise. His eyes widen, then they darken as a hungry look passes over his face.

I have a sudden memory of Scotland, and of the night he caught me and Beck making out on the stairs after dinner. I followed him to his room, and he ran his fingers over my feathers in a way that drove me crazy.

It felt so incredible. Not just his touch, but how fascinated he seemed by them, the way he couldn’t stop staring at them. I want to feel it again, so before I can chicken out, I reach down and take his hand, then guide it to the fluffy wing that rises up over my shoulder.

His nostrils flare, and I can feel a little resistance in his muscles as I rest his hand on my wing. He’s still trying to hold himself back from me, and I have a sudden worry that I’ve pushed him too far. I want more from