The Wall of Winnipeg and Me - Mariana Zapata Page 0,67
lot for me to handle, and I’m trying to get used to it. It’s hard for me to forgive people sometimes. I don’t know how to act around you any more, I guess.”
“The same way you used to,” he suggested evenly, as if it was the easiest answer in the world.
I swallowed, stuck between being stubborn and holding on to the fear and resentment I’d felt and unsure of how to move forward with this version of Aiden I was trying to get to know.
As if sensing I had no idea how to answer, he rolled his shoulders back and asked, “Other than that, you’re sure you’re fine?”
“Yes.”
“Positive?”
I nodded, letting out a breath that had somehow gotten stuck deep in the pit of my belly, bloating it with insecurity and anxiety and probably a dozen other things I wasn’t aware of. “Yeah. I, ah, changed my address on my bank statement a couple days ago. I’ll change my license as soon as I can,” I explained and suddenly felt a little awkward. “Are you sure you’re okay with all this? You’re sure you still want to be stuck with me for the next five years?”
That dark, almost caramel-colored gaze, landed on me, even, intense, determined. “Yes,” that smoke-wrapped voice replied effortlessly. “We need to go pick up the paperwork for the petition right after we sign the papers.”
Sign the papers. We were back at it. I gulped. “Yeah. Okay.”
Something in my tone must have been apparent because he shook off that pinning focus, leveling a frown in my direction. “You’re not backing out on me.”
It occurred to me he wasn’t asking. He was telling. I was a little offended he’d even assume I would do that. “I’m not backing out on you. We’re here already. I wouldn’t do that.”
“I didn’t think you would, but I wanted to—”
What? Remind me? Make sure? “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. We’re doing this,” I assured him.
It took him a moment to nod. “I know we’re rushing into it, but this is the only chance we’ll have. Next month is going to get busier for me.”
“Aiden, I know. I understand. That’s why I’m here, isn’t it? It’s fine. I have things to do, too.” Without thinking about it, I reached over and touched his bare forearm lightly. “I’m not going to disappear on you in the middle of the night. I always go through with my promises, all right? The only place I’m going soon is to El Paso next month for a weekend, but I’ll be back after a few days. I’ll be around in two years, and I’ll still be here three years after that. I don’t take my word lightly.”
Something flashed across his eyes so briefly it was there in one blink and gone the next.
Feeling a little shy, I pulled my hand back and smiled up at him, feeling something loosen up inside of me. “Look, I guess I haven’t completely gotten over what happened, even though I know you’re sorry. I know what it’s like for someone to do something unforgivable, and it’s unfair for me to take it out on you, okay? I’m sure I’ll be back to flipping you off in no time. Don’t worry.”
He nodded slowly, his features never loosening up enough to be considered relaxed.
“Everything will work itself out. I know you’re sorry.” I made myself shrug and let out a long, exhale that made me feel like I lost a few pounds. “I’m grateful for everything, but I need to go pee right now. Come get me when you’re ready to leave.”
I smiled at him before I hightailed it to the bathroom in the bedroom on the right, needing a minute to myself. Inside, I leaned against the door and let out a choppy exhale. What was I doing?
Everything would be fine, I figured as I used the bathroom and then headed into the bedroom.
It was only five-ish in the afternoon thanks to the time change, but knowing Aiden, he’d want to get the paperwork signed and over with as quickly as possible. So I wasn’t surprised when he knocked on the open door connecting my room to the living area and raised his eyebrows when he found me sitting in the middle of the bed, trying to rein in the eighty different emotions battling their way through my nerves.
I was doing this. I was really fucking doing this. I was getting married.
And if that wasn’t enough, apparently Aiden missed me giving him shit.