The Wall of Winnipeg and Me - Mariana Zapata Page 0,203
for months. Not finishing wasn’t an option.
I could do it.
I wasn’t freaking the fuck out. Nerves weren’t making my hands shake. I wasn’t subconsciously rubbing over my ring finger every few minutes, searching for that token of Aiden he’d given me that I’d left at home because I was too scared to lose it. Aiden’s necklace was tucked under my shirt for good luck. Surrounded by so many people who were smiling and just seemed so fucking stoked to participate, it honestly disheartened me a little.
Twenty miles. I could run twenty miles. That was something to be proud of, wasn’t it?
I had barely thought that when I mentally smacked myself. Of course twenty miles was something, but I’d put my body through hell for these last few months for what? For this.
If I didn’t do this, I needed to get my ass kicked. Even if I came in fucking last, I had to finish it. Screw it.
I shook out my hands. I could do this.
“Are you Vanessa Mazur?” a voice to my right asked.
Finding a woman wearing a T-shirt that said she was volunteering at the marathon, I forced a smile on my face and nodded. “Yes.”
She thrust out a cell phone in my direction. “You have a call.”
A call? Gingerly taking the basic flip phone, I watched as she backed away before raising it up to my ear. “Hello?”
“Muffin,” the deep voice answered.
I pulled the phone away from my face and took in the screen, recognizing the number. “How the hell did you get this number?”
“I didn’t. Trevor did. I tried calling your cell, but it went straight to voicemail,” Aiden explained.
“Yeah, I left it in my pile of stuff,” I pretty much stammered, still trying to process that he’d somehow, some way, gotten in contact with me. He hadn’t called me since he’d left. We’d only communicated via text message, and the sound of his voice went straight to my heart.
In what had become a typical Aiden way, he asked, “Are you all right?”
“No.” I looked around to make sure the woman who handed me the phone wasn’t listening. There were too many people around, all living their own lives, worrying about themselves. “I’m trying to talk myself into doing this even if I come in last,” I admitted.
“You’re about to run a marathon. Do you think it matters if you come in last as long as you finish it?” he asked.
I blinked and let the anxious tears pool in my eyes for the first time. “But what if I can’t finish it?”
The voice on the other end let out a sigh. “You can finish the marathon. Graves aren’t quitters.”
Graves. Graves weren’t quitters. I didn’t want to cry. I wasn’t going to let myself lose it now of all times. At least not completely. “But I’m not really a Graves, and I haven’t even been able to finish twenty-six miles, much less twenty-six point two. Not once. I’m dying by twenty.”
“Vanessa,” he rumbled my name in a way that felt like a caress to my spine. “You’re a Graves where it matters. I don’t know anybody else who could do what you’ve done. Come out on top of what you have. You can do this. You can do anything, do you understand me? Even if you limp your way through the last sixteen miles, you’re going to finish it because that’s just who you are.”
This weird hiccup thing crept up my throat, and the next thing I knew, I dropped my hand away from my face to control myself. It didn’t take long, but it was the most difficult control I’d ever tried to get ahold of. With a few deep breaths, I put the phone back to my ear, emotion overwhelming my nostrils. “In case I die on my run, I want to tell you something.” I wanted to tell him I loved him. Fuck it. What the hell had I been waiting for?
He was a good man. The best type of man—for me at least. The more I thought about what was between us, the more I picked up on the breadcrumbs he’d been leaving for me for some time now. He cared about me. He more than cared about me. I knew it from the bottom of my soul.
“Tell me afterward. You’re not going to die,” he replied, smoothly with conviction.
“No, I need to tell you now just in case,” I insisted.
Aiden let out a sigh. “You’re not going to die. Tell me afterward.”