Walker (In the Company of Snipers #21) - Irish Winters Page 0,47

to reality. Persia wasn’t here, and he was a fool to have left her like he had. Good reasons or not, he’d hurt her, and Walker would spend the rest of his days wishing he’d done right by her. But life on the run was no life, and he wouldn’t have done that to her.

Back among the living, Walker closed his eyes and bobbed along with Brim. Rover was still shaking seawater out of his ears and all over the dinghy, barking at seagulls that dived too close. He’d had his swim, yet his loyal black eyes tracked Brimley. Thank heavens, Brim had left his boxers on.

Walker leaned his head back into the water until it covered his ears. Stretching his feet, he stared at the blue, blue sky until he was absolutely prone, parallel with the universe above and listening to the sounds of the sea below. This would be heaven with the right woman bobbing beside him. Holding his hand. Playing with him.

Regret sucked.

His stomach let out a noisy growl. Walker had only eaten a bagel and fresh fruit for breakfast, peaches Brimley had bought at a produce stand in the last village they’d docked at for fuel. Peaches that would forever remind Walker of the lady he’d left behind.

Shit. Everything reminded him of Persia.

He’d never been the sort of guy to keep a girl in every port. Hadn’t seemed fair or smart to treat women like that, which was why he suffered for his sin of that one-night-stand now. Persia hadn’t been just any woman, and what they’d shared hadn’t been just sex. Walker couldn’t explain it, and he wasn’t about to discuss his feelings with Brimley. But that tender Florida interlude had reached into the darkest parts of Walker’s soul. She’d shone a light there that had warmed and touched him. Still did. The pain of knowing he’d hurt her gutted him all over again. Men were pigs, and he was the worst.

He’d read enough crap about love at first sight and other nonsense, yet this once in a lifetime encounter had surely felt like that. Simple sex had never mattered so much before. Never made Walker think twice about leaving, or once about staying. It’d been no different than eating, something a guy had to do. The animalistic, biological need to ease the build-up of semen and the angst that came with it. To fuck.

While it’d been a damned long time since he’d engaged in that activity with any of the barflies that hung around San Diego’s notorious SEAL hangouts, his time with Persia had left him wanting. Usually, he’d be physically satisfied for days after a hot, steamy encounter, maybe weeks or months if he’d deployed right afterward.

But this time… It wasn’t just good sex he and Persia had enjoyed. She’d fixed breakfast in the middle of the night. After their shower, man, her fingers running over his bare skin, rubbing lotion over his tired, salt-water battered body, had separated her from every other female in his past life. The empathy she’d shown him during their brief encounter had left him lacking and hungry. But not for food. Not just for sex, either.

He needed her sweet light again, the one she’d shone on him. That light in the darkness that had lurked within him these past months.

Persia might act tough. She was, after all, a former FBI agent and CIA officer, now some kind of covert operator working for What’s His Name. Alex Stewart, was it? Walker hadn’t cared enough to commit the guy’s name to memory. Mostly because he couldn’t keep his mind off Persia for more than a couple minutes at a time. Wasn’t he the dumbest ass ever? Kiss a woman. Bed that woman. Then up and leave her, without having the balls to tell her a proper goodbye.

And then? Still want that woman more than he seemed to want his next breath. Since when had life become the mess it was now? Since when had he ever stuck his neck out as often as he had this past miserable year? And for what? For who?

For love…

Yeah, right. Quinn Dooley, maybe. He’s been a friend as long as I can remember. But Persia? That couldn’t be love. Too soon. Too fast.

Yet even as he swallowed that seemingly reasonable excuse, Walker ran a quick hand over his head, still thinking about Persia and the last time she’d smiled. He’d been on top of her then. She’d just come all over him, yet