she’s on yet another terrible date, so we know she wants to get married and she needs to find love! Or maybe she lives alone and watches TV while eating dinner, so we know she’s lonely and she needs to find love!
The common denominator here (besides, you know, the whole “finding love” thing) is that no romantic comedy heroine’s life is perfect when the film starts. In fact, it’s usually pretty screwed up. Maybe it’s sad, or maybe it’s lacking meaning, or maybe there’s just a lot of bad sex. Either way, something is off, and we find out what it is right away, usually set to music and possibly in the form of a montage.
I thought I was already in my love story—at first I thought Carter could be my perfect man, and then I thought he was a rom-com red herring, meant to distract me from Drew. But I was wrong both times, because my love story hasn’t even begun yet. This is all backstory, yet another thing in a seemingly endless list of humiliations that will endear me to viewers, and while that might sound disheartening, it’s not. It means that my meet-cute and happy ending are still out there, waiting, and they’ll mean so much more because of everything I’ve gone through.
I just have to wait.
I walk downstairs, my ankle supporting my weight like a champ, and see Uncle Don standing with his arms crossed, staring at the Chewbacca costume spread out on the floor.
I stand beside him and look down at the costume. “What are we looking at?”
He looks over at me. “Is it a cliché to dress as Chewbacca for a con?”
I tilt my head. “Sometimes clichés are clichés for a reason . . . because they work. Maybe it’s just a great costume.”
He nods. “That’s what I thought. Dungeon Master Rick told me he thought it was hacky, but he’s only five foot six. I’m six foot two.”
“A much better height for Chewbacca,” I agree.
“The guys and I are leaving tomorrow morning for Chicago,” Don reminds me. “But tonight’s still D&D night.”
“Well, don’t stay up too late.” I head into the kitchen to grab a banana. “You don’t want to be crammed into Paul’s Subaru with a tired, cranky Dungeon Master Rick.”
I walk back into the room and see Uncle Don gathering the costume up off the floor. “You know what? I’m gonna go for it. I refuse to let Dungeon Master Rick get in my head.”
“Stay strong,” I say, toasting him with my banana. “Well, I have to get to work. See you tonight.”
As I walk down the street, I can’t stop myself from humming. After an endless winter, today’s warm weather feels like a gift made especially for me. The sun beats down on my head, and the sad piles of gray snow are turning into puddles. It’s easy to imagine I’m Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail, walking purposefully with a Starbucks cup while the Cranberries play.
Except that I would never go to Starbucks because I wouldn’t want to hurt Nick’s feelings.
“How about this weather?” I burst through the door to Nick’s, the bell jingling in my wake. I slam my hands on the counter. “God, I love Kenny Loggins.”
Chloe side-eyes me. “Shush. Nick hasn’t noticed that I put on an all-Kenny playlist this morning, so don’t bring attention to it. Are you . . . okay?”
“Never better.” I smile. “One for me and one for Tommy, please.”
She fills two cups, still watching me out of the corner of her eye. The dulcet tones of “Whenever I Call You ‘Friend’” start playing, and I can’t help swaying back and forth.
“I’m saying this as your BFF,” Chloe says, popping lids on the cups. “You’re acting super weird. Weren’t you just, like, heartbroken?”
I shrug as she sets the cups on the counter. “Yeah, but then I realized: Drew is nothing. He’s insignificant. He’s the guy in the rom-com who treats me horribly before I meet Tom Hanks.”
Chloe thinks about this for a minute. “Yeah, but Greg Kinnear was pretty nice in You’ve Got Mail. Like, he was boring and loved typewriters too much, but he wasn’t mean.”
“Not in that movie.”
“And Bill Pullman was okay in Sleepless in Seattle. Again, kind of boring, and he had a lot of allergies, but it wasn’t like that was his fault.”
“Not the point, Chloe! We’ve seen other romantic comedies, okay? I’m not talking about Tom Hanks specifically in his Nora Ephron roles. I’m talking about the