Chloe takes advantage of my distraction to grab the remote and start scrolling, muttering about how she’s going to make me watch some documentary about serial killers.
“Are these the cookies?” I ask.
Uncle Don nods. “The cookies, indeed.”
My mom always made these chocolate chip cookies with pumpkin in them, which sounds weird but is actually wonderful. The pumpkin doesn’t add flavor so much as moisture, and the cookies turn out super soft and fluffy. They’re the best chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever had (besides Chloe’s, obviously), and right now, watching a movie on the couch and eating them, I can kind of pretend things are the way they used to be. The way they’re supposed to be.
“You think I should bring a batch of these to the convention?” Uncle Don says. “I wonder if Tyler would like them.”
I have no idea why Uncle Don cares so much if some dude thinks he makes good cookies, but I nod with my mouth full.
Uncle Don walks back into the kitchen, and Chloe, still scrolling, asks, “Do you think Don’s into this Tyler guy?”
I think about it for a second. “I mean, anything’s possible. I don’t think he’s ever dated anyone, but I don’t know. I’ve seen his copies of Heavy Metal and there are a lot of illustrated boobs in that magazine for a gay man.”
Chloe rolls her eyes and points to herself. “Bisexuals exist, Annie. We walk among you.”
“I’m aware,” I say, kicking her. “But I don’t know, I think he would tell me. I mean, he hangs out with a gay couple every week for D&D.”
But now that Chloe brought it up, I realize that I know almost nothing about Uncle Don’s personal life. The only time I see him interact with people is at D&D, and I’m fairly certain he’s not dating Dungeon Master Rick, since Dungeon Master Rick is married. All this time I’ve assumed he doesn’t have a romantic life at all, but what if he does and he’s not telling me?
“Anyway,” Chloe says lightly, taking a bite of a cookie, “don’t think I didn’t notice what you said before Don walked in.”
“What?” I ask with my mouth full.
“Drew said,” she says in a falsetto that I think is supposed to be me, fluttering her eyelashes. “Since when are you having movie conversations with Drew?”
“I’m not having movie conversations with Drew,” I say. “But we work at the same place. Sometimes we talk.”
I don’t mention that one of those conversations was about our pasts and took place in a small room next to some particularly racy books.
Chloe narrows her eyes. “You’re such a bad liar.”
I focus on my cookie. “Drew is a movie star, and I barely know him. He has also, on numerous occasions, made fun of me. And he was quite uncharitable toward Barry.”
“Oh.” Chloe swats at my leg. “Don’t act like you’re concerned about defending Barry. Nick claims he stole a roll of toilet paper.”
I sigh. I don’t want to explain to Chloe that yes, Drew was surprisingly nice the last time we hung out, and it felt like there was something in the air in that tiny, book-filled room. Just because I’m a rom-com fanatic doesn’t mean I’m that unrealistic.
“I think he’s your Tom Hanks,” Chloe says with conviction.
“He isn’t,” I say flatly. “He’s famous. He’s rich. He’s used to dating other famous, rich people and he doesn’t take anything seriously. Tom Hanks always takes everything seriously, especially relationships.”
“Yeah,” Chloe says, pointing at me with the remote. “But maybe this is like Roman Holiday. He’s the Audrey Hepburn princess, and you’re the Gregory Peck journalist, and you’re gonna totally end up together forever.”
“When’s the last time you saw Roman Holiday, Chlo? They don’t end up together.”
“Wait, what?” Chloe asks, sitting up straighter.
I shake my head. “She’s a princess; she has obligations. In that last scene, at the press conference, she walks away, and he’s left there alone. That’s it.”
Chloe sits back. “Damn. That’s kinda bleak.”
I nod. “I know.”
“But maybe—” she starts, but I cut her off.
“He’s not my Tom Hanks, okay? Maybe my Tom Hanks is a cutthroat businessman, or maybe he’s on a houseboat, but he’s definitely not a movie star who’s going to jet out of Columbus as soon as he possibly can.”
“But that’s your obstacle!” Chloe says.
“Chloe.”
“One last thing: love conquers all.” She sits back and folds her hands. “I’m done.”
“You don’t believe that.”
“Not even a little. But look! I picked out something for us to watch!”