“And that table over there is definitely filming you on their phones,” I say, gesturing toward a table of teenagers who aren’t even bothering to hide their interest.
“Hey,” Drew says, waving at them, then turns back to me.
“You must love this, right?” I ask. “All the attention. The pictures. The extra apple pies.”
He gestures toward me with his. “Who among us could resist this deep-fried perk?”
Just like he does on the red carpet, he’s deflecting questions, not taking anything seriously. It’s more than a little infuriating. “Why are you even in this movie?” I ask, irritation dripping from my voice.
Drew raises his eyebrows. “What?”
I shrug. “I mean, you don’t want to talk to any of your coworkers, you hide in your trailer all the time—”
“Who said I hide in my trailer all the time?”
“Uh, anyone on set?”
“I talk to people!” he says, indignant. “I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”
“Under duress.”
“Oh yes, poor me,” he says. “Forced to eat Chicken McNuggets with a beautiful woman. My life is so rough.”
I ignore the sarcastic comment about my appearance. “Do you even like romantic comedies?” I ask.
“What?”
I cross my arms and lean back in the booth. “What’s your favorite rom-com?”
“What kind of question is—”
I lean forward. “Answer me!”
Drew sighs. “Her, I guess.”
“The movie where Joaquin Phoenix falls in love with Siri?” I ask flatly.
He nods. “Yeah. Why?”
I shake my head quickly. “That’s not a— Wow, that’s not even remotely a romantic comedy. I mean, I guess it’s romantic, sort of, and I did laugh a couple of times. But it’s not a rom-com.”
His mouth quirks up at the side, and he folds his hands on the table in front of him. “What, are you some kind of rom-com expert or something?”
I raise my eyebrows and find myself mirroring his posture. “Kind of.”
He smacks the table. “Qualifications. Go!”
I hold up my fingers as I count. “One. I have seen the classic film You’ve Got Mail approximately one hundred times and can quote it on command.”
Drew shakes his head. “That shows a depth of knowledge, not a breadth.”
“Two,” I say, my voice more forceful. “I’ve seen every film on AFI’s list of the best romantic movies, even though some of them are more rom-drams than rom-coms. Three, I have a framed photo of Nora Ephron on my desk, because she’s my hero and I want to be her.”
Drew nods.
“And four,” I say, even though I wasn’t planning on sharing this with Drew, but somehow it slips out, “I’ve been working on my own rom-com screenplay for years, because I’m a writer.”
“You’re writing a—” he starts, but I cut him off, already embarrassed that I mentioned something so personal to someone who will probably use it as ammunition to make fun of me later.
“Moral of the story, I have serious doubts about your ability to do justice to the genre,” I say.
He snort-laughs. “Okay then, wise one, tell me three movies I have to see, and I’ll watch them right away.”
I exhale. “I mean, there are a million. But if we’re going for classics, you can’t get better than the Nora Ephron/Meg Ryan holy trinity. When Harry Met Sally . . . , Sleepless in Seattle, and You’ve Got Mail.”
“All right,” he says, tapping them into his phone. “I will watch them and report back.”
An electric thrill runs through my body at this, because it feels slightly like flirting. But it’s not, I remind myself. For starters, this guy is literally starring in a movie where he has to act like he’s falling in love with someone, so I can’t trust anything he says. And also because Drew has made it abundantly clear that he thinks I’m mostly mockable, certainly not someone to flirt with.
“You never answered my question. Why are you even in this movie?” I ask, sounding like a pouty child.
“Well, in case you didn’t notice,” Drew says, slipping his phone back into his coat pocket, “The Last Apocalypse was an embarrassing dud, and it’s been a couple of years since Mike’s Restaurant ended.”
I roll my eyes. “So even though you think rom-coms are beneath you, they’re all you could get.”
“Let me finish, okay? And because I like Tommy, and I know he’s a great director, and I know that this movie will make people happy. Did you know that there are almost no big-budget romantic comedies with interracial couples?”
I mean, yes, of course, I know that. Anyone who likes romantic comedies know that there are plenty of criticisms lobbed at the