that what she was doing? Letting circumstances rule her life? Letting what Ryan had or hadn’t told her interfere with what she felt in her soul? If she let her heart make her decision for her, she wouldn’t be sitting here wondering what the hell to do next.
He loved her. Anything he’d kept from her, he’d done to keep her safe. She knew that. Even if she didn’t like it, she knew everything he’d done was only for her.
The muscles in her chest tightened. Suddenly, forever seemed much too long. All this time, she’d been searching for a past she thought would save her, when she should have been trusting her gut. It was the love buried deep inside that had the power to show her what was real. Nothing else mattered. Not really.
She clamored to her feet. Her latté spilled across the table.
The blonde at the next table leaned across the chairs between them and tossed a pile of napkins over the spilled coffee. “Here, let me help you.”
“Thanks.” Kate mopped up the mess. “I wasn’t thinking.”
“It happens.” When Kate looked up, concern flowed through the woman’s pale blue eyes. “Hey, are you okay?”
“No. Yes.” She reached for her bag, not sure if she was going to laugh or cry. “I have to go. You have a beautiful family.”
The blonde smiled. “Thanks.”
“No, thank you.”
“For what?”
“For reminding me what really matters.”
***
Ryan tugged on the collar of his tux as he sat at a table in the packed ballroom. Men and women in formal attire swayed across the floor. The band cranked out notes to an ancient jazz number while light glittered from the massive chandeliers above.
He didn’t want to be here. The last thing he needed tonight was to be surrounded by a bunch of people he had no use for. What he wanted was to be home with the kids, maybe drowning his sorrows in a bottle of whiskey after they went to bed.
He couldn’t even remember what this damn charity event was for. The homeless? Public schools? Models in need of plastic surgery? He didn’t care. If he hadn’t already committed to it, he’d have come up with an excuse to get out of it. And he hated that he’d taken his new PR director’s advice that showing his face tonight would be a good thing for his company.
The last thing he cared about right now was his company. He shouldn’t have listened.
“They’re really making a killing tonight.”
“Hmm?” The woman’s voice to his left dragged him from his thoughts. She had to be about eighty years old, with snow-white hair, a silver, beaded, long-sleeved dress, and the biggest rock on her finger he’d ever seen. He vaguely remembered she was related to some bigwig in state government. How the hell he’d gotten stuck at this table was beyond him.
He should have brought a date. Then, at least, he wouldn’t have to listen to the old woman’s monotonous voice. Problem was, he couldn’t even think about dating anyone now. Didn’t think he ever would. There was only one woman he wanted, and she was on a plane, halfway to Portland by now.
“The Inner City Youth Authority, of course,” the old woman said. “I can’t believe how many people are here supporting them. It’s wonderful, don’t you think?”
Inner City Youth Authority. Right. That was it.
“Yeah.” He feigned interest in the conversation. “Raking in the dough.” Barely listening, he calculated how much longer he had to stay before he could sneak out.
“Terrible news about that nasty business you were in,” the old woman next to him went on. “I heard your wife left.”
His gaze snapped to her. “What?”
She waved a hand. “Oh, honey. No one can keep secrets in this town. My daughter just went through a divorce. She’s about your age. I should give you her number.”
Bingo. That did it. Ryan pushed out of his chair and mustered up a polite smile. “Would you excuse me?”
He weaved his way through the crowded dance floor. Was afraid he just might implode if he didn’t get out soon. Freedom teased him from the corner of the room. He was stopped a handful of times by business acquaintances. Each one grated on his already frayed nerves.
Excusing himself from the last conversation, he stepped toward the door, only to be stopped by a familiar voice.
“Mon cher, it’s so good to see you.”
Oh, shit. Monique.
He stared into her perfect face surrounded by that thick mane of red hair and couldn’t for the life of him