A dull ache filled her chest. This was going to be impossible. Sharing the kids would kill her. Having to see him on weekends when they exchanged, knowing if she weren’t so damn stubborn she could have exactly what she wanted.
But she still hurt. She hurt from his lies. From the fact he hadn’t trusted her enough to be honest. She was so tired of the lies and secrets that had ruled her life for way too long. Deep inside, she was afraid she’d always wonder if he were telling her the truth.
“Okay.” Silence stretched between them. When she couldn’t stand it anymore, she said, “I, ah, need to go finish packing. I’ll tell Julia when I see her this afternoon.” She turned for the elevator.
His hand on her arm stopped her. Heat spread along her skin, ignited a fire inside her. “Wait. We need to talk about us.”
Emotions she didn’t want to deal with poured through her. She tried to steady her quaking voice. “I know, Ryan. But I can’t right now. I need some time to figure everything out. Things between us happened so fast. I’m not sure what I need.”
“How long do you think it’s going to take you to think things through?”
“I don’t know. I…I don’t expect you to wait for me.”
“Ah, babe. I’d wait for you forever.”
Her eyes slid shut to block the tears. He knew exactly what to say to make her heart tip right over the edge. “I have to go, Ryan.”
She eased out of his grasp and stepped into the elevator. He was still watching her when she turned, hands shoved deep into his pockets, heartache stamped across his handsome face.
As the doors closed, she had a pretty strong hunch that face was going to haunt her forever.
***
Glancing down at her boarding pass, Kate made her way through the crowded terminal. She checked her watch. She had almost an hour until her flight up to Portland. She didn’t want to sit at the gate that long. With a sigh, she headed toward the coffee cart at the end of the corridor and grabbed a latté.
Sinking into a chair, she sipped her coffee and told herself she’d done the right thing. If she was lucky, a few weeks away would clear her head, give her something else to focus on besides the craziness that had become her life.
And maybe when she came back, she’d have a clue what she was going to do about Ryan.
She listened to the muffled conversations around her. An attractive couple strolled up to the coffee cart, arm in arm. The man smiled, brushed the woman’s blond hair away from her neck, and kissed her ear. The woman leaned into his chest and grinned. The glint of bright gold on their fingers signaled they were newlyweds.
A young girl with dark hair, roughly Julia’s age, ran up to them. A warm smile spread across the man’s face as he wrapped an arm around the girl and his wife paid for their drinks.
Kate’s eyes slid closed. She could have that. If she really wanted it, she could have that and so much more.
I’d wait for you forever.
Tears stung her eyes. She loved Ryan. That wasn’t the issue. At this point, she didn’t even question what she felt for him. She couldn’t fight it any more than he could. But was it enough? Would she be able to forget the rest of it? The lies? The hurt? Would she ever be able to trust him again?
The couple from the coffee cart settled around a table next to her.
“How long are you going to be gone?” the young girl asked, slurping her drink through a straw.
The man’s deep voice made Kate glance sideways. “Long enough for your mom to realize she can’t live without me.” He lifted the woman’s hand and kissed her fingers.
The blonde ran her hand across his rugged face. “That, I already know.”
He smiled. “Took you long enough to figure it out. You made me wait forever.”
A redhead walked up and sat in the empty chair at their table. Kate had seen her with the young girl before she’d run to her parents. “Good thing you’re both so forgiving. You let all that other crap get in the way much too long. Who said what to whom and when. I swear, words cause more trouble than they’re worth sometimes.”