Vowed (The Vampire Journals, #7) - Morgan Rice Page 0,41

how much she tried to push them away.

At the same time, she loved Caleb. Not partially, as with Blake. But entirely. She may have thought of Blake from time to time, but she didn’t actively pine for him. She didn’t feel as if she needed him, or anyone else, to be complete, to give her anything that was missing. She felt entirely complete with Caleb. The residue of Blake might still linger somewhere in her past, but, she realized, that was natural. The way she figured, anyone in life who at one time means anything to you is bound to leave some sort of impression. But that didn’t mean that she was still devoted to him. Nor did it mean that she was betraying Caleb. She was finally beginning to realize that the two could co-exist in her consciousness; if she tried to drive occasional thoughts of Blake out, and they just wouldn’t go away, it didn’t mean that she was doing anything wrong. Or that she was still attached to him.

She did realize, though, that even if she didn’t have control over her deepest, unconscious thoughts and impressions, she did, very much, have power and control over her conscious thoughts, choices, actions, and her words. She had a responsibility to discipline herself to not actively think of Blake, to let any passing thoughts of him go without dwelling on them, and to instead choose to actively focus on Caleb. She also had a responsibility to choose her words carefully, and to communicate clearly to Blake, so that there would be no confusion on his part.

“What we had, at the time, was beautiful,” Caitlin said. “And I don’t want to upset you. But you need to realize, for both of our sakes, that it’s over. It’s gone forever, and will never come back. If we go searching for it, it won’t be there. We need to let it go. You need to let it go. I love Caleb now. I’m devoted to him. And nothing will ever change that.” Blake looked at her for a long time, and she could tell he was really hearing her, really taking it in. Finally, slowly, he nodded, then turned and looked out at the ocean.

“Mommy, look!” Scarlet screamed. “I got it to skip four times!” Caitlin saw Blake’s sad smile as he watched Scarlet. She turned and looked over at Scarlet herself.

Scarlet held up a rock for her to try. Caitlin walked over, grabbed the rock, and threw it, thinking back to her own childhood, of skipping rocks with Sam at a lake somewhere upstate.

The rock skipped several times, and Scarlet screamed in delight. Caitlin turned, proud of herself, eager to see Blake’s expression. But to her surprise, he was already gone.

Vanished.

Caitlin spun and looked up at the sky. The sunset had finally broken through, lighting the world in a million soft colors. In the distance, she could just barely spot a lone figure, flapping his huge wings, and flying alone, desperately, into the horizon of light, and as she watched him go, something told her that was the last time she would ever see Blake again.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Sam stood on a remote corner of the Isle of Skye, Polly beside him, atop a grassy knoll, overlooking an endless expanse of sea. Beneath them, waves crashed against huge primordial boulders, and above them, the sky was lit up by one of the most beautiful sunsets he had ever seen.

The sky was so big here, he felt dwarfed by the enormity of it.

He had been walking with Polly for hours, and they had finally settled on this spot. She had come to him earlier in the day, shaken, and had told him everything that had happened with Scarlet and the wolves. Sam had been shocked by the story, and he could understand how disturbing it must have been for Polly. The thought of almost losing Scarlet had disturbed her, as did the revelation that Scarlet was Caitlin and Caleb’s daughter. It took Polly hours of talking about it to finally calm down. Sam sensed that she needed to talk, to vent all her feelings, and he let her talk.

“The wedding is tomorrow, and I feel like there’s so much left for me to do,” Polly said. “I’m the maid of honor, after all. Caitlin took off, and she honestly doesn’t seem that concerned with all the details. It seems like she’ll be happy no matter what, and I know the other girls have already taken