When I look at him, I’m not just obsessed. I’m anxious to see what we might find around the corner. I’m achy and missing the way his lips tasted when we had our first kiss. Mostly, I’m in love.
I never stopped being in love.
“We never have to pretend again,” I whisper and there it is, this strange fracturing inside my chest, like I’m losing the very last wall that there was left. Victor has backed down; the boys seem to be in agreement.
Our girl.
Tease her.
Piss her off.
Make love to her.
Fuck her.
They said they wanted me to be their plaything, didn’t they?
So be it.
They also said they wanted me to be their accomplice: check and double check.
“Bernadette,” Aaron groans, and then he’s pulling back and shoving open his door. For a split-second there, I feel panic take flight in my chest. He can’t leave me like Oscar did; that isn’t like him. Aaron is a lifeline. He’s the one all the other guys should thank because without him, I couldn’t put up with them and their shit and their all-consuming blackness. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
I watch as Aaron yanks the rear door open and climbs in, his arm snaking between the front seats and grabbing my waist. Without preamble, he yanks me back and into him, tucking me into his lap and then dropping his mouth to mine like a comet. All fast heat and pressure and impact. His tongue thrusts between my lips, sliding across my tongue, tasting me.
More than that even: savoring me.
“Victor might be your husband, but I’ll always be your first love. Your first time. Bernadette, I swear to god, if he ever tries to keep us apart again, I will fucking kill him.” I nod because I can’t speak, not when Aaron’s growling against my lips and holding me like he was always meant to.
The sound of Vic’s Harley pulling up alongside us registers with me, but I can’t pull away. Instead, my arms tangle around Aaron’s neck as we fall into each other. The shadowy laughter from the other cars, the faint smell of fries and chili, it all just blends into a blur of particles that mean nothing to me.
“He can’t keep us apart again; I won’t let him.” I lick Aaron’s lower lip, sucking it into my mouth as he groans and leans his head briefly against the already fogged-up windows.
“Fuck, I can’t wait. I need to be inside you,” Aaron pants, and I nod yet again, sitting up and crawling from his lap on all fours the way he seems to want. “Bare, Bernadette. This time, no condom.”
“No condom,” I agree, breathless, my lips nearly touching the window’s glass. I’m thankful for the spotty and inconsistent lighting of South Prescott, the clouds over the moon, and the condensation of our own breath. We should be fairly invisible in here. “No need.”
I’ve been taking the birth control pills that Oscar gave me, so for once, I’m actually not being an irresponsible twat. Even if I weren’t, I’d probably do it anyway, and you know what? I know why, too. Because it was never about babies or responsibility or any of that. I just want to be close to my boys.
“You’re the only queen I would ever serve,” Aaron whispers, leaning over me. I can feel his cock pressing up against the seam in my sweatpants, teasing me. He’s probably getting pre-ejac all over them, but I don’t care. This moment is worth everything to me. “And I never really served a king; I’ve tolerated him. For you.” Aaron reaches around to undo the tie on the front of the pants, kissing my ear and grinding against me. His right hand slides under my shirt and up my bare belly, finding my breast and squeezing it with great tenderness. Each press of his fingertips into my skin scalds me, stealing away any resistance or dignity I had left.
“You’re supposed to be the nice one,” I groan as he kneads my flesh, the slow undulations of his hips driving me insane. “Stop teasing me.”
Aaron chuckles, and the feel of his breath stirring my hair makes me squirm even more.
“What we do in the bedroom together has nothing to do with nice, Bernie.” Aaron reaches up and grabs my waistband, yanking the sweats over my ass and exposing my wet heat. I can’t exactly spread my legs because of them. Doesn’t matter, I guess, since the bench seat we’re on is only so wide.