Violence (Antihero Inferno #3) - Lily White Page 0,92
answers.
Not that I ever planned to give her full answers. My only reason for coming here was to see if she’d admit what she’s doing behind my back.
“What’s your third question?”
The wheels are spinning again, the gears grinding.
Emily is perfectly still, the only movement is her fingers tightening on my wrist, her nail cutting into my skin.
I don’t mind the bite of pain. It helps focus me, helps keep me in the here and now rather than letting me slip into memory.
Somehow she settles on the one question I hoped she’d never ask.
“Did he make you hurt each other?”
I flinch at the memory her words drag to the surface, guilt eating me whole, fucking devouring me as a ticking bomb in my head counts down to its final seconds.
“He did,” she whispers when I don’t speak, an angry tear slipping from her eye to roll down her pale face. “You don’t need to answer that. I think I already know.”
Life doesn’t always make sense.
The heart is illogical.
Your soul can’t help what it needs.
There are a hundred reasons and bullshit explanations for why I still want Emily.
Despite what happened in the past. Despite what’s happening now.
Despite my cold fury and her blistering pain.
I try to mentally shake myself of the desire I have to let it all go and take what I want, but I fight to remember why I’m here, fight to stay focused on the answers I came to get.
“Do you have anything you want to tell me?”
Her eyes close, more tears slipping free.
“So much,” she admits, guilt obvious in her voice.
“Like what?”
A shuddering breath, her eyes opening again.
“Just that I’m sorry.”
“For?”
Another breath.
“Everything.”
My hand slides up to her throat, but doesn’t squeeze. I’m practically shaking with the need to force the answers out of her. Emily’s fingers grip my wrist as I run the pad of thumb along the side of her neck.
“I hate you,” I whisper against her mouth.
“I know.”
“And I fucking love you.”
Her lips roll against mine, her teeth biting down. “I know.”
“I can’t stand you.”
Her body trembles.
“Same.”
We both go perfectly still.
“And I can’t stop wanting you.”
Emily’s eyes clench shut.
What kind of idiot was I to think I could be alone with her and not end up in this place?
I honestly believed I could resist. That I could keep from touching her. That I could keep from hurting her in more ways than insults and threats.
We’ll destroy each other one of these days, yet we’re both powerless to stop it.
Violence, stripped of its hammering fists, of its gnawing teeth, of its razor-sharp edges and blinding explosions, is nothing more than a destructive force.
And that’s what Emily and I are to each other.
I’m beginning to believe that there’s not a single person or influence in this world that is powerful enough to stop us.
“I know,” she finally says. “And we’ll keep hurting each other. We’ll keep fighting. We’ll keep -“
My mouth is on hers before she can finish that thought, my tongue and teeth tasting and biting, fucking devouring her because I’ve lost the will to resist.
Not that Emily doesn’t give back, doesn’t take just as much as me, doesn’t grip my wrist in one hand and slide her fingers into my hair with the other. She pulls me to her as my fingers tighten on her throat, as my grip clamps down on her waist and I pull her close.
I can’t stand this woman for the hell she’s been in my life, but I can’t stop.
This isn’t love we’re engaged in now.
It’s hate.
Pure. Unbridled. And raw.
We hate that we can’t let go.
Hate that we can’t fix the past.
Hate that our present is fucked up beyond repair.
And hate that our future has always been impossible.
We take out on each other what we can’t fight around us. Both trapped. Both victims. Both bloodied and scarred by the wars that won’t stop.
Both violent.
And both defeated.
That doesn’t stop her from biting down on my lip, though. It doesn’t stop the growl vibrating my chest as my hand slips down to her ass to lift her up. And it sure as hell doesn’t stop the way her legs wrap around my hips like they are meant to be there.
The second the hard ridge of my cock presses between her legs, this beauty moans into my mouth, her body melting, her head falling back as I scrape my teeth down the line of her jaw willing myself not to mark her as mine in such a visible place.