Violence (Antihero Inferno #3) - Lily White Page 0,124
haunted me. The betrayal in their eyes, the confusion as to why I would do something so horrible.
Damon and Ezra were arrested that night, and Paul and I were taken to the hospital. I was only there for several hours to have stitches while Paul was there for over two weeks.
I didn’t speak to either of the twins after that night.
Not until the engagement party.
Which is why Ezra had to touch the scar on my shoulder when he first saw it.
It was the first time he could kiss that injury since the night it occurred.
The first time he could return the favor for all the injuries I kissed on his body, silently begging for them to heal.
And now, here we are.
Right back in the same place.
With the same decision needed to be made.
And the same heartbreak.
The circle is complete. Only this time I have to break things off right.
When I hear the distinctive sound of a motorcycle outside, I know the opportunity to say goodbye the right way has arrived. Not that I invited it, but Ezra doesn’t always wait for permission.
He certainly didn’t ask for permission the first night he stole my heart.
I have to be careful, though. Ezra won’t let go easily, and like the beast he is, he’ll try to drag me onto that battlefield again. I have to be strong enough to resist.
Without bothering for him to knock, I walk outside and watch as he turns off his bike and leans back to pull off his helmet.
He doesn’t move, and I lean a shoulder against the doorway, both of us staring at each other with our own plans of where to go from here.
Eventually, he nudges his chin and crooks a finger to silently call me over.
Sighing, I push away from the front door, close it, and go to him because the simple truth is that I love this man regardless of how obstinate and frustrating he is.
The second his amber stare traps mine, my body buzzes with the need I always feel for him, but beneath that, there is a cold vein of loss.
I’m losing him.
For good this time.
It makes me desperate to hold on, to step onto that battlefield, to feed the beast.
But I can’t.
To do so would only prevent him from finding the tools he needs to grow beyond what he’s become.
To forgive him without making him face the truth would be to prevent him from learning to forgive himself.
Tears burn at the back of my eyes, but I hold strong and refuse to let them fall.
Ezra doesn’t say a word, he just hands me his helmet and pats the back of his bike.
I tilt my head in silent argument. He tilts his in return, a half grin tugging at his lips that reminds me of the look he used to give me in high school when all of this first started.
It’s a look that reminds me I can fight all I want, but he’ll still lead me like a sinner into Hell far too easily.
A look that dares me to lie and say I don’t want him.
The same look that dragged me into shadowed spaces where I could kiss the parts of him that were broken as we both fell in love with an impossible future.
Rolling my eyes, I climb on the bike behind him and pull on the helmet. He turns to make sure the straps are cinched tight, knocking on the top of the helmet with his knuckles as a tease.
Twisting to face forward, he starts the bike and then reaches back to tug me tighter against him, our thighs pressed together, my chest to his back. I wrap my arms around him and hold on tight, but not just for the ride.
I’m holding on to this moment, my muscles burning from how hard I squeeze, his heat sinking beneath my clothes, the hard strength of his body filling me with the temporary relief of safety.
I hold on even while knowing I’ll have to let go.
The bike takes off, and within a few minutes we’re on a deserted road. I have no idea where he’s going. Not that I care. I’m simply enjoying the feel of him against me, my head laying against his broad shoulder as he weaves through turns and takes us far away from our problems with engagements and brothers and abuse and secrets.
I feel like we’re running away just so we can pretend it’s possible to be together. If only for a few hours.