and I reach out to check for any messages. There’s one from Judi and it’s an animation. Clover leaves fall like rain, cascading down onto a growing pile that explodes to reveal the words good luck. It makes me laugh. And there’s one from Reid, asking me to text him as soon as I’m awake. It was sent over an hour ago, but I turned the volume of my phone off as it was the only way I was going to get any sleep.
Hope you slept well, Seren.
I tap in a quick response.
Morning, Reid. I managed a couple of hours, but I’ve been awake on and off since dawn.
Throwing on a pair of jeans and a top, it’s time to head into the kitchen to make a coffee and sit outside to enjoy it.
What time will you be heading up to the site?
They’re opening the gates an hour earlier for us, so about eight-fifteen. Why?
I’m parked up around the corner and I have the key you gave me to the back gate. Can I pop in for coffee if I’m really quiet?
My face instantly breaks out into a smile.
Of course. The kettle is on.
As I jump up and grab my mug, Maria opens her kitchen door and waves out to me.
‘Do you have time for another coffee?’ she asks, her voice hushed, but I shake my head sadly.
‘There are things I need to do before I leave for the monument.’
‘I understand. It’s a big day for you.’
Hurrying inside in case Reid suddenly appears to see where I am reminds me that creeping around like this is no way to live your life. And when I sneak out through the patio doors and see him walking towards me, I put a finger to my lips. As soon as he steps inside, I shut the doors.
‘My neighbour, Maria, is up. Let’s go into the kitchen.’
His face lit up the moment he saw me and yet I feel guarded today. Whether it’s the result of nerves making my stomach flutter because of the day ahead, or because there are some things I need to say to him – I don’t know. But they are words I can’t pull together right now.
As I make his drink, he comes up behind me and his hug is gentle. He rests his chin on the top of my head, and we stand for a few moments without moving. When I turn back around, I can see how much he’s missed me.
‘Come on, sit down. You look like you need this.’
He takes the mug, looking timorous. ‘I know I shouldn’t be disturbing you, but I couldn’t help myself.’
‘I’m glad you did,’ I reply, making a monumental effort to sound light-hearted. ‘I have a favour to ask.’
As we sit opposite each other, his eyes don’t move from my face. ‘Anything, anything at all.’
‘Carolina’s father bought one of your prints for her mother for their thirtieth wedding anniversary. She’d dearly love to be able to give them a signed copy of the official exhibition programme and I just happen to have one here.’
‘If only all requests were that easy.’
‘I know, I don’t ask for much, do I?’ I reply and his smile fades. I’m quoting him, of course, and he remembers.
‘That’s true and I wonder why.’
Say it, Seren. It’s always going to be an awkward moment and there never will be a right time.
‘Because – ultimately – what we each want out of life means that we aren’t even on the same page, Reid. We’re fooling ourselves, aren’t we, by brushing aside the obvious.’
‘I know it seems impossible right—’
I can’t bear to see the look on his face, so I put up a hand to stop him.
‘Please don’t feel you need to explain, Reid, it’s just the way it is. I’ll… um… go and grab that programme.’
Feeling like the bottom is about to fall out of my world, I head into the sitting room to find the brochure and a pen. Facing the inevitable is tough and I didn’t imagine it happening like this, but I tell myself that fate presented me with this moment for a reason. And who am I to question the wisdom of that?
‘Here you go. Carolina has written their names on a piece of paper, it’s inside the folder. I’m just popping out to my workshop to fetch something. I won’t be a moment.’
When I return, the brochure is tucked away inside the folder, the pen placed on top of it and Reid is cradling