Vienna Betrayal - Lila Dubois Page 0,29
spectrum where it no longer feels like pain is just a tool that my top is using,” she said quietly.
“You place restrictions in order to stop the pain from rising above that threshold you’ve identified.”
“Yes.” It hadn’t been a question, but she responded anyway. Her throat felt tight almost as if she were about to cry, which was ridiculous.
“What happens if you are pushed past that point?”
“It hurts too much.”
“Physically?”
“Please don’t keep asking me these questions.”
“I thought you enjoyed questions, talking.”
The paddle kept up its smooth circular caress. It had been nothing but gentle, yet she couldn’t relax. Any minute now he could raise that paddle and strike her with it. It would hurt. And the hurt would bring up shit she did not want to think about right now.
“It’s not just the pain you’re afraid of, is it?”
“Stop analyzing me.”
“I’m not.” He paused the paddle’s caress and she tensed. “I’m learning my sub’s limits.”
He laid the paddle down along her spine, then crouched by her head. “What are you protecting with the limit?” He brushed a few errant strands of hair back behind her ear. “What are you really afraid of?”
Alena closed her eyes and lifted her head just enough that she could press her cheek against his palm. Funny, how they both kept repeating that hand-on-cheek caress.
Her throat was now so tight with emotion that she couldn’t talk.
“Alena.”
She shook her head, not ready to speak just yet.
He reached out, running his hand along her side to her hip. He massaged her butt cheek in his big hand, and arousal bloomed inside her.
She shifted a little, trying to press her ass more firmly into his touch.
He patted her butt, the taps not quite hard enough to be a spanking. “What scares you, Alena?”
“My past.” She opened her eyes, her voice under her control, the tears that had almost spilled now safely tucked away.
“Your past?” Alexander’s brow beetled. “You were abused by a Dom who didn’t respect your limits?”
“No, the abuse wasn’t from a Dom.”
Around the dungeon, other scenes were starting up and the ambient noise level had risen in sync.
But an invisible bubble had formed around them, creating an intimate moment, almost like pillow talk. It was easy to imagine that instead of laying on a spanking bench, she was laying in bed beside him.
“Who hurt you?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does.”
“Heavy impact implements. Beatings. They bring up stuff for me. Stuff that makes it impossible for me to stay in the scene.”
He was silent for a moment, then said, very softly, “Did you make them pay, the people who hurt you?”
“Do I seem like the kind of person who would waste time on revenge?”
“Yes. And it would not be a waste.”
Alena opened her mouth, but didn’t know how to reply.
Because he was right. She’d gotten her revenge, and no one else had ever asked about it. People who knew details of her past asked if she’d gotten therapy, rather than revenge.
The face she presented to the world was audacious and sophisticated. A woman who could handle anything with a wink and laugh.
But Alexander saw through that mask.
He understood her.
And she was going to betray him.
Chapter 8
Alexander stood and plucked the paddle off her back. She watched him tuck it back into his kit, which only confirmed that he’d pulled it specifically to test her reaction. Clever jerk.
He dug around for several moments, during which she formulated options for witty comments, and ignored the guilt that was sucking at her soul.
He turned around, holding a silver butt plug.
Convoluted feelings about what she’d have to do in the coming days, about the dishonesty and deception, disappeared along with half-formed witty comments.
A single, clear emotion took over. Desire. Wicked, wonderful arousal.
Alexander walked to her ass, one hand running over her cheeks in the same pattern he’d used to stroke her with the paddle.
“When was the last time you were used anally?”
“Four months ago.”
“A plug?”
“No. Sex. Before joining the Orchid Club, I hadn’t had the opportunity to sub in some time.”
“Because of your charity work?”
Alena lifted her head and tried to look back at him. “How did you…”
“I looked you up last night, after I had your list and before I returned to the room.”
“I thought we weren’t supposed to do that. Club rules.”
His lips twitched in a smirk. “Rules are for other people.”
“To be fair, you should let me go. I’ll go get my phone, google you, and then we can start again. What’s your last name?”
“Wagner. And I’m not letting you go.”