"Move aside, Catch." Ram stepped forward with his authority face on.
"You sure? 'Cause it's horror night at the frat house in there."
Elora frowned. It was out of character for Glen to hesitate when Ram gave him an order. Odd behavior and an even odder thing to say. Horror night at the frat house?
"Now." Ram said it quietly and firmly.
Glen moved out of the way.
When the door swung open, Ram, Elora, and Baka stood in place staring with mouths open.
Finally Ram said, "Great Paddy."
Elora turned on Glen like it was his fault. "Glendennon. What the...?"
Glen held his hands up, palms outward, like he was fending off an attack. "Tried to tell you."
The place looked like it had been hit by a hurricane. The pool table balls had apparently been used for high velocity dodge ball. Some of them were lodged in the plaster amid scores of holes that had been gouged in the walls. The extra large TV monitor and the wall on which it was hung were untouched and pristine. The vampire had, apparently, carefully avoided interfering with the entertainment unit which was currently playing Animal House at a near-deafening volume.
Javier and two of the other vamps had pulled white sheets off their beds and fashioned togas, which they were now wearing over what appeared to be well-proportioned, but entirely naked bodies.
One of them, who was jumping up and down on one of the cots stopped long enough to throw his head back and wail, "Now. Waiiiiiiit a minute," at the ceiling. The fact that he delivered a pitch perfect imitation of the memorable lyric from "Shout" made the moment either more surreal or less appalling. Elora couldn't decide which.
The one who had seemed quiet and serious was mostly draped over the pool table on his back with one leg hanging off, snoring loudly. He looked like he'd just collapsed there. Someone had found a red marker and written something on his forehead.
When Baka gave Elora something akin to a dirty look, she realized that she had never seen him angry before.
"Recruits? I left my work and my wife and a warm, comfy bed to fly all night for..." He threw his hand out at the mess. "...this? Refugees from drinking games?"
Elora turned her attention back to Glen. "What was it that you were trying to tell us, Glen?"
"That it looks like the blood substitute makes them drunk."
"Drunk?" Her eyes ran over the scene and came to rest on Ram, who had his chin pressed against his chest laughing silently, but so hard his face was red and his entire upper body was shaking. On impulse she put her hand on his bicep and gave him a shove. Thankfully she remembered at the last second to pull back or she could have done some serious damage to her baby daddy. Having to shift to regain his balance seemed to make him laugh even harder. He turned and faced the wall, propping his forearm at eye level so he could bury his face and not get into even more trouble with his wife.
Baka's jaw went slack when Glen's words registered and his anger dissipated quickly. "We're probably lucky it didn't kill them."
Ram had managed to regain enough composure to turn around, but he was still red-faced and looked on the verge of renewed eruption. When Baka turned to look at him, Rammel made a valiant attempt to keep it bottled up, but couldn't. When a new round of laughter came spitting out, Baka succumbed as well, covering his face with one hand and taking a step back to lean against a wall covered in billiard ball-sized craters.
Elora looked at the two of them, then at Glen who had been chuckling along with the two older men, but when her scowl fell on him, he straightened and almost managed to wipe the smile off his face. "Great Paddy," was all she said.
The room was so loud and full of pandemonium that she hadn't noticed one of the toga-wearing vamps coming up behind her until he was breathing on her neck. Out of reflex as much as revulsion, she threw him off. His body flew across the room, hit a wall, and slid down to the floor in a real life reenactment of cartoon violence. The onlookers stopped what they were doing to see if he was incapacitated. After a couple of seconds, he rolled over giggling, propped himself up on his elbows, and sang, "Now. Waiiiiiiit a minute."
Everyone simultaneously resumed what they were doing and that included the elf and the ex-vamp who were then laughing so hard they were holding each other up.
Elora turned and walked out. When she got to the end of the hallway, she glared at the four knights who were supposed to be guarding. They scrunched their faces into comical masks trying not to laugh, but in the end, it was hopeless.
Feeling like the only adult left alive, she speed dialed Monq and he answered. "Has somebody reported the problem?"
"What problem?"
"Shit."
"Young lady."
"Don't you dare young lady me! You know I hate that shit!"
Monq sighed in response, but she didn't hear it due to the noise coming from down the hall. Composing herself, she said, "Okay. Sorry. Let me start over.