"Funny."
"Oh I haven't even gotten started."
A few minutes later they were sitting at the bar of the Hung Goose pub waiting for two pints of ginger ale. When she turned to him with a gleam in her eye, he knew what was coming and braced himself.
"You know," she began, wearing a smile that could only be described as provocation personified, "you've got to admit that it's hysterical that the most heroic vampire slayer of this century faints at the sight of childbirth."
Ram's brows furrowed in a way that said he didn't want to be teased about it which naturally made Elora want to tease him all the more. He glanced around like he was making sure no one overheard her say that. "I did no' faint."
She just said, "Hmmm," and smiled in a way that would cause him to throttle her on the spot were it not for the fact that she was his own heart walking.
He looked away, sighed, took a big swig of ginger ale in defiance of the fact that she had told him three times to just sip it, and turned back to her, looking more serious than she had ever seen him. "Great Paddy, Elora. Is that...?"
"What?" He shook his head and looked away. "Is that what?"
"Is that what it's goin' to be like for... you know, for you? For us?"
She laughed out loud. "You've been watching those movies where childbirth is all antiseptic and pristine. Women with perfect hair and makeup are handed a new baby that's clean as rain water."
"I suppose I never thought much about the actual, em, mechanics."
"Well, judging, from what I just saw I'd say it's a good thing you're not the one who's been tapped for baby duty."
He looked at her with an intensity she hadn't ever seen directed at her before. "Truthfully? I would rather walk into a nest of vampire without a stick. And, believe it or no', the fact that 'tis you and no' me is no' makin' me feel that much better."
Sitting so snug together at the bar, she only had to lean a couple of inches forward to press a kiss into his lips. "Do no' worry, husband."
Mimicking his Irish accent was the surest way to get him to worry more because he knew it was her intent to hide concern with humor. He suspected she was being brave for his benefit which made him feel ashamed about his reaction to the baby popping film. He'd resolved to try to live up to her sort of bravery and was doing his best, but he thought she set a standard so high it was almost unattainable.
His thoughts returned to the morning at hand as she was saying, "It was just three days ago that Doc Nance said Helm is really happy where he is. He hasn't even started looking around for the exit." There was a part of her that winced when she said that. "We have another week before we have to report to Edinburgh and I want to stay here a little longer."
He nodded like that was what he thought she would say. Then he went to his bureau, opened a drawer, and withdrew a sat phone.
Elora gasped in response as he walked over and put it in her hand. "Ram! That really is contraband."
He snickered. "Aye and your portaputer that you hide in the cupboard behind the peanut butter is no'?" Elora's mouth fell open. She'd been sure he didn't know about it. "Anyway," he continued, "I do no' know what would qualify as special circumstances if no' bein' big as a..."
The rest of that sentence trailed off and got muffled in the Irish cable knit sweater he was pulling over his head. When his eyes cleared the fabric, he saw that she had moved directly in front of him, standing with her hip cocked and one hand poised where her waist used to be. Great Paddy, she's fast. Even when she's carryin' a babe.
"A what?"
"Hmmm?"
She narrowed her eyes to slits. "As big as a what?"
He just blinked innocently. "Do no' know what you mean."
"Always trying to stir something up, aren't you?"
He smiled mischievously. "How'm I doin'?"
"That depends."
"On what?"
"Hmmm?"
He laughed. "Very funny." He started to pull her toward him, but she ducked out of his reach and walked the other way.